Jan 10: Complacency v Willingness

Not every year sober is note-worthy, but this past one certainly has been. Yesterday I celebrated 33 years in recovery. Since I was an every-day drinker, I think of it as being sober 12,053 contiguous days. I could not not-drink under my own power and will. It wasn’t until I finally surrendered, went to treatment and joined Alcoholics Anonymous that I could get through a whole day without drinking. It still awes me that this program works, and works so well.

In early sobriety I had the gift of desperation to open my ears and shut my mouth to learn how to do this. It was from people in the room sharing their experience-in-the-raw that taught me how to tackle anything without having to drink. No Matter What.

I didn’t have a Higher Power in those early days but knew I was not staying sober on my own so each morning I would ask TWIMC (To Whom It May Concern) for help to stay sober this day, and every night I would thank It for another day sober.

Once I had a few years in the program I feared picking up a drink less, and learned to fear complacency more. I’ve known people relapse who die before they make it back in. I know people who decided AA was not their chosen path and dropped the program. One of whom had 30 years. All of whom stopped attending meetings long before they relapsed. And then COVID-19 hit and all the meeting places closed.

I believe “meeting makers make it” so what happens when we can’t meet? On-line AA has been part of my recovery since 1997. Through it my program was enriched by all the women who share their experience-in-the-raw in emails to the group who show me how we do this thing one day at a time. I’ve been blessed by being able to meet some of you in person; become friends with some of you through the 20+ years since. I often hope that women who are just discovering our group manage to develop long-lasting friendships with other women in the group like we early-timers did.

But what about local newcomers who are given that gift of desperation in a pandemic? Where do they go to find a welcoming group in an AA meeting room? At a time when it would have been so easy to feel complacent about staying sober after all this time, COVID-19 sparked a resurgence of 12 step work instead. Within 2 days, people had set up zoom equivalents of many of our local face-to-face meetings. The state AA website was updated with zoom credentials as fast as meetings were set up. Those of us who had lots of email addresses sent out notices of zoom meetings to everyone we could, and asked others to pass them along to their contacts.

As a result, we have some newbies who have never been to a face-to-face meeting but are staying sober and learning how to work a program of recovery via virtual meetings. In my local meetings we have three women, one had 8 months, one who had 10 months and another who celebrated a year sober all in December. Bearing witness to their willingness to do what it takes to learn how to live a sober, joyful life is a privilege. It knocks complacency out of my attitude like brushing snow off my shoulders.

I think complacency and willingness-to-learn are flip sides of the coin of sobriety. These youngsters struggling to understand our program, the steps, daring to pick up the phone and establish connections with others, and not drinking for one more day really are the most important people in the room. They keep it Kelly green for me and remind me that I don’t ever want to have to repeat one moment of early sobriety ever again. And to do that, all I need to do is pay attention and be willing to learn from others.

As always, feel free to share on topic or whatever is impacting your sobriety right now. This is your meeting.

Thank you for letting me chair the meeting this week. Thank you for helping keep me safe and sober. Thanks to all our Trusted Servants who make this meeting possible.

Mari Ann

Jan 03: Step 1

I was in total denial of my alcoholism for most of my drinking. There was a lot of evidence confirming how unmanageable my life was due to alcohol, but I would not – could not – accept that I was an alcoholic. I felt justified in the amount of alcohol I consumed because if you’d been through what I’d experienced while growing up you’d also drink the way I drank! And of course, hanging out with people who also drank alcoholically allowed me to pretend I drank normally, even though the non-alcoholics in my life knew otherwise and occasionally tried to tell me. The fact that I was never an everyday drinker, I’d never lost a job due to alcohol, and I never drank in the morning fuelled my denial, helping me to refuse to believe I was an alcoholic.

However, after drinking alcoholically for about ten years I started blacking out almost every time I drank. I also got behind the wheel of a car more frequently when drunk. But even the horrors I went through after coming to from a blackout, e.g., not knowing how I ended up wherever I was, not knowing what I’d done with the person sleeping next to me, being so physically ill that I couldn’t even keep down water (I believe I came close to poisoning myself one time with the amount of alcohol I’d drunk), couldn’t penetrate my denial. I wasn’t an alcoholic, and there was no way I was going to give up a substance that allowed me to be “the real me” – hah!

 And then I came to one morning in mid-August 1989 in an apartment in South Philadelphia; I had no idea how I’d got there. As I was stumbling around trying to get dressed I heard a voice in my head which said in a measured tone, “That’s it.”, and I thought, “What does that mean??” Once more the voice said, “That’s it”, and instantaneously I knew I was an alcoholic and that if I continued drinking I’d end up in jail (I’d already been in jail briefly in CA), an asylum, or a morgue. I left that apartment and called George, a guy I believe my HP had put in my life in order to help me but in the guise of being my mother’s boyfriend (he’d been sober six years when she started dating him). And while I’ve never had a drink since that day, I continued taking mind and mood-altering substances until April 1991 so I changed my sobriety date to the first day I was alcohol and drug-free, which is April 8, 1991.

 I feel fortunate that I’ve never wanted to do more “research” regarding my inability to control my drinking. The veil of denial was lifted completely that day in August 1989, for which I’m extremely grateful. And even though the thought of taking a drink (or two, or three…) has entered my mind a few times over the years, I’ve been able to think it through and see that the problem, person, etc. that’s making me want to escape into alcoholic oblivion is not going to disappear after I take a drink, and the situation will surely only get worse. Do I want that? NO! That’s the difference between now and when I was in denial; I never thought it through, never questioned what the end result would be once I started drinking. Thank God the result is very clear to me these days, due in part to memories of the excruciatingly embarrassing, physically dangerous, and at times criminal acts I committed while drinking. The person who did those things is not the person I want to be, and the only way I can continue to move toward the person I want to be is by continuing to go to meetings, practicing the steps/principles in all my affairs, doing service, and following my conscience, which is something I rarely did before getting sober.

 I’ve heard many stories of how people came to accept Step 1, each one different from the other. But no matter how we come to embrace it (and perhaps have to go back to it), I know from my experience that I had to fully accept my powerlessness over alcohol before I could continue with the other Steps and gain an understanding of all that AA offers.

 Thanks for letting me be of service. The meeting is now open to those who would like to share on the topic of Step 1. 

Dec 27: Seeming Failure and Success

Topic for the week from Daily Reflections December 26.

Furthermore, how shall we come to terms with seeming failure or success? Can we now accept and adjust to either without despair or pride? Can we accept poverty, sickness, loneliness, and bereavement with courage and serenity? Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us?

— TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 112

 

I have been reading the Daily Reflections more and more over the past nine months. I have really come to enjoy the reminder that it is my choice to accept life exactly as it is unfolding. I can see life as it ebbs and flows and I am reminded again and again that it is my choice to go with it or stomp my feet and throw a little fit.

The program has taught me how to be right sized. I also have learned that I don’t have to like anything in order to accept it. But accept it I MUST!

I have been humbled again and again and I am so grateful for the willingness to continue on this path. There is no success or failure. I can accept and move on. I can take blows to my ego and learn from life as it challenges me. I am content more often than not and I know that everything is exactly as it should be. One day at a time!

Please feel free to share on this topic or anything that might be on your mind.

Thank you for letting me be of service.

Julie K

Dec 13: Bill W’s Christmas Message 1944

This is a Christmas message sent out by Bill in 1944:

To all AA members

Greetings on our 10th Christmas, 1944. Yes, it’s in the air! The spirit of Christmas once more warms this poor distraught world. Over the whole globe millions are looking forward to that one day when strife can be forgotten, when it will be remembered that all human beings, even the least, are loved by God, when men will hope for the coming of the Prince of Peace as they never hoped before. But there is another world which is not poor. Neither is it distraught. It is the world of Alcoholics Anonymous, where thousands dwell happily and secure. Secure because each of us, in his own way, knows a greater power who is love, who is just, and who can be trusted. Nor can men and women of AA ever forget that only through suffering did they find enough humility to enter the portals of that New World. How privileged we are to understand so well the divine paradox that strength rises from weakness, that humiliation goes before resurrection; that pain is not only the price but the very touchstone of spiritual rebirth. Knowing its full worth and purpose, we can no longer fear adversity, we have found prosperity where there was poverty; peace and joy have sprung out of the very midst of chaos. Great indeed our blessings! And so Merry Christmas to you all – from the Trustees, from Bobbie and from Lois and me.

Bill Wilson

Bill was writing of course towards the end of a world war. Hard times indeed. Bill calling the world “poor and distraught” couldn’t be more fitting for right now, with a global pandemic on the loose. We’re all feeling the effects of this awful pandemic, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically– to one degree or another. I’ve found the last ten months or so tough, not seeing family, being in my own home for most of the time, my stream of income badly hit. I can struggle with anxiety over loved ones, loneliness, and over my own health and future. I worry about getting older, being alone, broke ad infinitum… you get the picture! But I use my AA tools on a daily basis to change how I see and feel.

Bill points out that we AAs live in a world which is not poor. The world of Alcoholics Anonymous. Where each of us has security in knowing we are looked after by “a greater power who is love”. Where each of us learns that suffering brings humility, that strength comes out of weakness and that pain is “the very touchstone of spiritual rebirth”.

This is true for me. I know today that pain and suffering aren’t futile. but lead me somewhere great. Inside of myself. I grow and become stronger and more at peace in the discovery of deeper wells of strength within me. Today, I can turn how I see things around. Today, it is in my control, through my Power working within, to ensure each day is a happy, joyous and free day.

I can hand those worries about loved ones over first thing.

I was told early in sobriety that I might not be able to stop the first negative thought about something but I have control over the second thought! I can refuse to let it in.

I can keep my head where my hands are.

I can do the next right thing.

I can connect in prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact. This suspends me thinking about myself and hey ho I often don’t see my problem in the same way afterwards.

I can reach out to someone else and ask how they are. This suspends me thinking about myself and hey ho I often don’t see my problem in the same way afterwards, even though I didn’t even mention it! The miracle of giving of oneself..

I can get involved in many kinds of service, in AA and in my church or community using Zoom. This fills me up with peace. Problems recede. I see it all within a new and glowing light, within me.

I can “add to” not “take from”.

Most of all I have faith that a Higher Power provides for me this day. And I have HOPE! I have to have hope. I don’t mean expectations for certain things but great hope that my God provides exactly what I need.

I’ve discovered a wonderful Zoom group around which I structure my week. This has been a blessing that came out of the tragedy of the pandemic. I’ve made connections I otherwise wouldn’t have made. A bunch of like-minded souls that I love.This gives me peace and joy– it’s wonderful. I do “dwell happily and secure” when I do these things. When I live in the solution and not the problem (can be so tempting, this last one!)

I put in extra prayer time this week about work, and asking for guidance– I’ve had repeated rejections for online work because the market is packed full right now, and they’re paying buttons.

Today I’ve taken on work that will lift my income a substantial bit, teaching from home. I have another concern re my loved one that I’m finding hard not to worry about which is why I need extra prayer time set aside. When I hand it ALL over to the God of my understanding, and not hold on to the coattails, I swear I am overcome by how much my God loves me.

Prosperity, peace, joy, blessings– Bill uses these words above to a wartorn world in 1944. I’m so glad to read this today, as it confirms for me that all my happiness depends on my inner world, not what is happening out there. I don’t have to let what’s happening around me control me. Today I am free to change my world from the inside out.

I have a lot of uncertainty with what’ll happen around Christmas. But I’m keeping my head where my hands are– right in the here and now, one day at a time. I need to experience serenity on a daily basis and I can’t do that when I leap into the future– even the near future.

How do you turn around your thinking when life feels tough to handle? How do you bring serenity back centre stage? Share about Christmas or, if you don’t do that, then the holiday period. Or whatever you feel moved to share about.

The floor is yours, ladies.

Love,

Louise

Dec 06: Step 12

Here we are in the 12th month, to start the 12th step. Not long ago, I would not have been confident to chair this topic, but after the last few months of changes, I’m ready!

I’ve worked long & had to get back to my HP, after firing it and AA all together over a decade ago. Now, once again, I’ve had a spiritual experience & am comfortable with prayer. Sometimes I can just talk & get out whatever it is that needs saying. But it’s been a slow process, and I’d say ‘Don’t rush it’ if you’re not there yet. I believe that a genuine depth is worth the wait. In between, however, I used the forces of Nature and the rules of science to keep me from going nuts. Please share a little about your process of finding a HP you can live with, especially if you chose a non-traditional path for it to feel right.

As far as carrying the message to others, this is where I do it. Living in a Costa Rican small town, there aren’t many F2F options. Instead, I participate actively in 3 email women’s groups, sharing my ESH, sometimes having private conversations, reaching out to those who struggle, and sponsoring when asked. I’d love to hear what other women are doing in this ‘time of Covid’ to help those who may want what we have.

Lastly, the really hard part – practicing these principles in all our affairs. Oh dear…

It’s easy for me to be kind to strangers & practice empathy. I do my best to be polite & considerate of the general public. As many are out of work, I also go out of my way to employ the hordes of casual laborers, even feeding families for months. I can pat myself on the back for these things.

BUT!!!

 In the home is where I really struggle.  I get snappy with my partner pretty easily after 9 months of restricted movement. I’m moody – but then, I’ve often been moody. Not much progress there. Self-pity sometimes comes up, but I can use gratitude. I can also look at all those around me with serious problems of health or getting food on the table or not being evicted.

I still pray for my character defects to be removed DAILY, but at the same time I make more effort to catch myself when I’m being an ass. It gets very humbling when I see the same behavior over & over.

I’m SO grateful that AA teaches us it’s progress, not perfection, and that none of us will ever be perfect! When I remember this, I’m less likely to beat myself uup for so long over some human failing.

Please share on any of this that you relate to! Thanks for letting me serve by sharing my ESH.

Deb

Nov 29: Fear

Fear as a stepping stone (As Bill sees it, page 22)

“The chief activator of our defects has been self centered fear – primarily fear that we lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration, Therefore no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands.

For all its usual destructiveness, we found that fear can be a starting point for better things. Fear can be a stepping stone to prudence and to a decent respect for others. It can the path to justice, as well as to hate. And the more we have of respect and justice, the more we shall begin to find love which can suffer much, and yet be freely given”.

When I went into myself imposed withdrawal recently, fear was my biggest problem, I had resigned and the other 2 work projects did not work out, so fear of no income, how was I still going to stay in my flat, all that and few other problems had me only focused on myself, my mind was in turmoil, my praying was haphazard, if only then I could of thought of that off switch.

November 19 Daily reflections with the heading ( I was slipping fast), that was me and the realisation of how far I had slipped.

I went back to prayer in earnestness and continual reading of AA material, and also tech host for another skype meeting.

I know with continual work on myself and praying my thoughts are not consumed with myself.

With the help of God it all one day at a time.

The floor is now open.

Thanks for letting me share.

Rene G

Nov 22: Trust

The lessons of trust and acceptance have been front and centre in my mind this year. Losing trust where it was once present brings up many negative feelings in addition to a loss of hope. I find myself questioning the integrity and motivations of people and institutions as never before, a frame of mind that leads me down a self-destructive path. I’ve realized that acknowledging this danger in my mind is not a remedy, nor does it bring even a smidgeon of serenity. In fact, the more I dwell on losing trust, the worse I feel.

I’ve been reminded ad nauseum this year, my character is most tested when life is difficult. These are the times that it *seems* a glass of wine (or a drug or a giant piece of cake) would serve as a magic wand to make all of my pesky problems disappear. But now I know too much, I’ve finally learned that is not the case. So today, I lean in more heavily than ever on God and step 3 to right my thinking, praying frequently to accept the plethora of situations and outcomes that I cannot control. I pray for trust in Him and His will, regardless of the outcome. I pray to trust and accept that my deepest fears and insecurities will come and go, and that is all part of life. Then I count my blessings as there is so much to be grateful for.

Two quotes from recent Hazelden readings that have helped me trust:

“Trusting our Higher Power today ensures that we will trust Him tomorrow also. We do not know what the future holds for us, but we are assured of God’s continuing care and support.”

“We learn to trust by giving over our dilemmas to God for solutions. With patience, we will see the right outcomes, and we will more easily turn to God the next time.”

So many lessons reveal themselves as I work the steps and tools of this program. Ultimately, my days are so much better when I put in the time and effort.

Please share any thoughts on how you approach a lack or loss of trust, or anything else you need to express. Thank you all for allowing me to lead this week.

Susan P.

Nov 15: Using the Tools of the Program

Topic for the week:  Using the Tools of the program. (And other tools to enhance our sobriety.)

I chose this topic because many of us are finding it challenging during this time of social isolation caused by the pandemic.

I, for one, am missing going to the usual meetings, and giving and receiving hugs. Sometimes I meet someone I know from the rooms while shopping, at the bank, driving, even donating blood.  But we have been unable to do more than just speak to each other, and depending on the location, little can be said.

I know that I could, and probably should, do more to work on my program, or get more discipline in doing a daily 10th Step. . . . but my efforts are sadly lacking.  The things I have been able to do are:  read my GROW messages, read my daily reader(s), pray (when I think about it), listen to speaker recordings, attend zoom meetings and either participate or just listen, attend my home group whenever possible (outdoor, social distancing, now too cold, looking for a different indoor space), using slogans, journalling, and more I can’t remember at the moment.  I don’t do everything every day, but I do try to keep involved in my program.

When my efforts are lagging, it doesn’t take long to become apparent. . . . I get into argument with my hubby, I snap at people, I over-react to things.  Fortunately, my hubby loves me anyways, and knows that we both just need some space until I cool down.  In that space, I try to do something that will re-ground me and help me to regain the serenity I had been lacking.

What tools of the program do you use?  What are some that you reach for when you find you’re having a rough day?

I look forward to reading your shares.

In service,  Pat

Nov 08: Knowing Yourself

“To know yourself is not done just by reviewing your ‘misdeeds’; they are not you … Your doubts, fears, and apprehensions, your immature cravings, your self-indulgence … they are all committed by your physical body, guided by false instincts and imagination, instead of by your real self, which is the soul – the spirit within. That is where your conscience is, and your wisdom and your strength – which no one can hurt but you.”

New York, N.Y., November 1946, “Sobriety for Ourselves”, Thank You for Sharing: Sixty Years of Letters to the Grapevine

This Grapevine quote was in my inbox from another meeting I am part of and it really just blew me away when I read it, a real aha moment.

This is the point of inventory, both fourth step inventory and daily tenth step inventory. It isn’t to condemn ourselves for all the wrong we’ve ever done, but to really get down to causes and conditions and find our real self.

From there we are able to see how our choices were based on instinct, but like everything else it was overboard and distorted. When we get away from our false ego self and into our real spiritual self, we are able to more correctly align with our human instincts and grow along spiritual lines.

Thank you for the honor of chairing this meeting. I invite you to share on anything the above quote brings to the surface for you, or anything you need to share about, feel free, this is your meeting.

Nov 01: The Eleventh Step

Step 11

Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood him, praying only for knowledge of God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.

Hello GROW! Welcome newcomers and congratulations to those celebrating milestones.

Step 11 is one that I practiced from the moment I found my sponsor. She emailed me a list of prayers and suggested I recite them every day. Eventually the list became a memorized mantra. In early days, reciting the prayers gave me the courage to leave my apartment and stand tall in social situations that terrified me.

Although I had no real experience with prayer, I prayed. There was no resistance on my part. I was desperate—I had no idea how to make my life “work.”

What I’ve learned through ongoing practice of Step 11 is that I don’t make my life work. My higher power does! When something disturbs me, I do what I can and let go of the rest, trusting that the outcome will, ultimately, be the best for all concerned.

The suggestion expressed in Step 11, that I work on connecting daily with a power beyond my understanding, has brought a measure of peace and faith to my life that I never expected.

Today I know that when I’m scared I’m not alone. My higher power is with me.

This program teaches me that I’m here to be of service to others, not build monuments to my ego. Practicing Step 11 has given me the confidence to know that I am enough and what I do is enough. And everything is going to work out. Although I couldn’t describe my HP to you, I’m grateful to have one. This, as it says in our literature, is a faith that works.

Please feel free to share on your experience of Step 11 or whatever else is going on in your Program this week.

Thanks for being on this journey with me.

Oct 25: God Will Not Desert Us

“Word comes to me that you are making a magnificent stand in adversity—this adversity being the state of your health. It gives me a chance to express my gratitude for your recovery in A.A. and especially for the demonstration of its principles you are now so inspiringly giving to us all.

“You will be glad to know that A.A.’s have an almost unfailing record in this respect. This, I think, is because we are so aware that God will not desert us when the chips are down; indeed, He did not when we were drinking. And so it should be with the remainder of life.

“Certainly, He does not plan to save us from all troubles and adversity. Nor, in the end, does He save us from so-called death—since this is but an opening of a door into a new life, where we shall dwell among His many mansions. Touching these things I know you have a most confident faith.”

AA World Services Inc. As Bill Sees It [221]. A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Hi, Grow Ladies, Heidi Alcoholic here. Thanks for letting me be of service. I am sober today and I grateful I don’t have a desire to drink today. I’m still here showing up, going to meetings and being of service and grateful that I am. Life can be rocky and tough at times – that is life. I look back and think how or why did I stay sober during some of my most difficult times early on in my life? It was people in the fellowship who kept telling me just don’t drink no matter what – even if your ass falls off – pick it up put it in a paper bag and take it with you to a meeting and of course they showed and told me they loved me and cared for me. They told me to pray, be of service and just stay close to the rooms. Well today I can’t do that (go to a meeting in person that is) but I have zoom meetings and online meetings like Grow. I have probably been to more meetings this year than in recent years because of Zoom. I have experienced a lot of loss the last year and now seems to be a current stream for me. Honestly, I am so sick and tired of experiencing loss right now in my life. However, I know from my experience in sobriety that one day this will pass and change is always constant. I have faith in God (my HP) and know he is working on finding the best home for me and my dog and that I won’t always be homeless. I feel really lost at times not having a home of my own at the moment compounded with being so far away from my friends and family during this pandemic but I have so much to be grateful for – a friend who has shown great generosity by letting me stay in her home in Bristol (food and shelter for today), my dog and meetings on zoom. I know from experience God will not desert me. Thanks for letting me share.

Oct 18: God Shots

Good Morning !

These past couple weeks have been challenging for me, I have had some big lessons in unmanageability at home and have found the adage about the home being the hardest place to practice these principals to be VERY true.  HOWEVER, this surrender for me has been a deep one and when I truly sought god and help everything was laid out for me in ways I cannot explain.  

When I was first sober my sponsor told me about “god shots” – little synchronicities that happen in our lives that cannot be explained. Such as certain people, situations etc being placed in our lives in the exact right time we need.  Such as people from my past returning out of the blue (one from England) for me to make amends. Or sponsors showing up for us when we were ready or situations working out that we could not have possibly done on our own power. She explained that this was God for her. 

I have had many inexplicable miraculous things happen for me in sobriety and I am so grateful for our program and sister program as well so that I don’t have to live in disease any more.  I would love to hear about all of your little “god shots”! 

Thank you for my sobriety! 

Oct 11: Experience, Strength and Hope

Hearing another alcoholics ESH has helped me so much to get out of myself, not feel alone and stay sober for another day. I was thinking about my experiences in AA or some people call them ‘God things’ others ‘magic in AA’ ( you can call it whatever you like) that helped me not drink at a moment. Little experiences or things that have opened my eyes.

Just recently I went a little insane again and thought I might want to try control drinking. The moment the thought entered my mind I accidentally hit my last wine glass in my house off the counter. My middle name may be Grace but there’s nothing graceful about me. I’m a total clutz. But it woke me up. That shattered wine glass felt like a sign. It. Woke. Me. Up! Drinking is not an option.

Another time when I first got sober I was concerned about going to dinner with my family at our favorite restaurant because I always drank there. I knew it was a trigger for me. I was very new and couldn’t bring myself to say to my family ‘can we go somewhere else because I’m afraid I’m going to drink?’ Turns out I didn’t have to because as I was driving home to pick them up , my whole wheel fell off my car. Not a flat tire but my whole wheel flew off my car. Thankfully no one was hurt and I didn’t have to go out to dinner that night because our one car was not drivable.

Finally, just this past week I’ve been struggling with a lot of pain around my daughter and letting go of things I can’t control. I had entered a zoom mtg and just texted my sponsor that I can’t stop crying and right after I said that the chairperson leads with the topic of crying and letting go.

I’ve heard others share these different but same experiences and I love them. They give me goose bumps. Crazy and out of the ordinary things. These experiences keeps my disease real to me and help me see I’m where I need to be. I’d love to hear your experiences or whatever else you would like to share this week.

This is your meeting and the floor is open to share.