Oct 25: God Will Not Desert Us

“Word comes to me that you are making a magnificent stand in adversity—this adversity being the state of your health. It gives me a chance to express my gratitude for your recovery in A.A. and especially for the demonstration of its principles you are now so inspiringly giving to us all.

“You will be glad to know that A.A.’s have an almost unfailing record in this respect. This, I think, is because we are so aware that God will not desert us when the chips are down; indeed, He did not when we were drinking. And so it should be with the remainder of life.

“Certainly, He does not plan to save us from all troubles and adversity. Nor, in the end, does He save us from so-called death—since this is but an opening of a door into a new life, where we shall dwell among His many mansions. Touching these things I know you have a most confident faith.”

AA World Services Inc. As Bill Sees It [221]. A.A. World Services, Inc.. Kindle Edition.

Hi, Grow Ladies, Heidi Alcoholic here. Thanks for letting me be of service. I am sober today and I grateful I don’t have a desire to drink today. I’m still here showing up, going to meetings and being of service and grateful that I am. Life can be rocky and tough at times – that is life. I look back and think how or why did I stay sober during some of my most difficult times early on in my life? It was people in the fellowship who kept telling me just don’t drink no matter what – even if your ass falls off – pick it up put it in a paper bag and take it with you to a meeting and of course they showed and told me they loved me and cared for me. They told me to pray, be of service and just stay close to the rooms. Well today I can’t do that (go to a meeting in person that is) but I have zoom meetings and online meetings like Grow. I have probably been to more meetings this year than in recent years because of Zoom. I have experienced a lot of loss the last year and now seems to be a current stream for me. Honestly, I am so sick and tired of experiencing loss right now in my life. However, I know from my experience in sobriety that one day this will pass and change is always constant. I have faith in God (my HP) and know he is working on finding the best home for me and my dog and that I won’t always be homeless. I feel really lost at times not having a home of my own at the moment compounded with being so far away from my friends and family during this pandemic but I have so much to be grateful for – a friend who has shown great generosity by letting me stay in her home in Bristol (food and shelter for today), my dog and meetings on zoom. I know from experience God will not desert me. Thanks for letting me share.

Oct 18: God Shots

Good Morning !

These past couple weeks have been challenging for me, I have had some big lessons in unmanageability at home and have found the adage about the home being the hardest place to practice these principals to be VERY true.  HOWEVER, this surrender for me has been a deep one and when I truly sought god and help everything was laid out for me in ways I cannot explain.  

When I was first sober my sponsor told me about “god shots” – little synchronicities that happen in our lives that cannot be explained. Such as certain people, situations etc being placed in our lives in the exact right time we need.  Such as people from my past returning out of the blue (one from England) for me to make amends. Or sponsors showing up for us when we were ready or situations working out that we could not have possibly done on our own power. She explained that this was God for her. 

I have had many inexplicable miraculous things happen for me in sobriety and I am so grateful for our program and sister program as well so that I don’t have to live in disease any more.  I would love to hear about all of your little “god shots”! 

Thank you for my sobriety! 

Oct 11: Experience, Strength and Hope

Hearing another alcoholics ESH has helped me so much to get out of myself, not feel alone and stay sober for another day. I was thinking about my experiences in AA or some people call them ‘God things’ others ‘magic in AA’ ( you can call it whatever you like) that helped me not drink at a moment. Little experiences or things that have opened my eyes.

Just recently I went a little insane again and thought I might want to try control drinking. The moment the thought entered my mind I accidentally hit my last wine glass in my house off the counter. My middle name may be Grace but there’s nothing graceful about me. I’m a total clutz. But it woke me up. That shattered wine glass felt like a sign. It. Woke. Me. Up! Drinking is not an option.

Another time when I first got sober I was concerned about going to dinner with my family at our favorite restaurant because I always drank there. I knew it was a trigger for me. I was very new and couldn’t bring myself to say to my family ‘can we go somewhere else because I’m afraid I’m going to drink?’ Turns out I didn’t have to because as I was driving home to pick them up , my whole wheel fell off my car. Not a flat tire but my whole wheel flew off my car. Thankfully no one was hurt and I didn’t have to go out to dinner that night because our one car was not drivable.

Finally, just this past week I’ve been struggling with a lot of pain around my daughter and letting go of things I can’t control. I had entered a zoom mtg and just texted my sponsor that I can’t stop crying and right after I said that the chairperson leads with the topic of crying and letting go.

I’ve heard others share these different but same experiences and I love them. They give me goose bumps. Crazy and out of the ordinary things. These experiences keeps my disease real to me and help me see I’m where I need to be. I’d love to hear your experiences or whatever else you would like to share this week.

This is your meeting and the floor is open to share.