This is my favorite month, because of my sobriety date, Christmas and my physical birthday. During these four years of sobriety, my God has been good to me and I feel Blessed.
When I came to AA, the week after Thanksgiving, I swore then I was never going to have a drink again. I had embarrassed my son in front of his in-laws and felt so ashamed and guilty of how I had behaved, but I am a slow learner. It took two more drunks for me to come in to the program, and the only reason I came in was because I had severe chest pains for two days and I knew if I had another drink I would die.
On my first meeting I came in desperate, scared that Christmas was fast approaching. How was I going to make it? For me it was Get sober or Die.
I had just been laid off from a Preschool Administrator position after 28 years. I did not know how I was going to do economically, and my husband had gone back to El Salvador.
In my first meeting, I heard I needed to get a sponsor, so I paid attention to see who looked like a good fit for me and I asked her at the end of the meeting. At first this person wasn’t sure about taking on someone on their first meeting, but she did and I lucked out. She told me 90/90, and I did. During this time, I started to notice that my short term memory and my mental processing were shot. They would ask me to read, and I did not comprehend what I was reading. They told me it was the sugar and that it would pass, and I have to tell you that after four years it’s gotten better.
One thing that I was able to pick up early on was that there were Promises, and I began to listen to them carefully. This part became my favorite part of the readings, since they gave me a sense of hope when I heard them being read.
The first couple of weeks in sobriety, I learned the Serenity prayer from these rooms. Every time I said it, I felt peaceful, something I had never felt before. I fell in love with the prayer, and I would say it constantly. It had become my mantra.
By the time Christmas came around the obsession had been lifted. I realized that I had experienced the Promise of God doing for me what I couldn’t do for myself, and I had made it through Christmas and New Years without a drink for the first time in 30 years.
Today, The Promises are being fulfilled in my life, sometimes quickly and sometimes slowly. I never knew that this could happen to me. My whole attitude and outlook upon life has changed. Now, I am learning through you, how to surrender the person, places, and things to my God and let him do the work.
I was forced to retire, and now I am living in El Salvador with my husband. I am learning to stand up for my own rights and living within my means. I am not worried about economic insecurity any more. I’m learning to trust that my God has me where I need to be.
“We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us.” I am peaceful most of the time, and because of this I worry less about things. A huge load has been lifted. I look back on this whole situation, and there are many times that the old me would have drank. But calling my sponsor and reading your shares on a weekly basis help me keep grounded. I also attend mass daily and pray. What a change!
I am living testimony that the Promises can come to fruition if we work the program. And I feel blessed to be part of GROW.
How are The Promises being fulfilled in your life? You are welcome to share on this or any other topic that is in your heart. Have a Merry and Sober Christmas!