Topic for the week: Personality Change
“It has often been said of A.A. that we are interested only in alcoholism. That is not true. We have to get over drinking in order to stay alive. But anyone who knows the alcoholic personality by firsthand contact knows that no true alky ever stops drinking permanently without undergoing a profound personality change.” [As Bill Sees It; p. 1]
I have two daughters, both grown now. When my youngest was in college, and before I was scheduled to arrive for a visit, she was describing me to a friend and said, “Mom can be … “‘extra’.” (I know this because her friend is now my friend, too, and she told me!) I, of course, thought: “Oh, like, extra fun, extra cool, extra sweet!?” Came to find out that “extra” meant “over the top,” as in “buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride!”
My emotional life before sobriety was a roller coaster, for me and anyone who breathed in my general vicinity. I felt my feelings screaming out loud and flapping my arms in the air. Sobriety has gifted me with the temperance of my emotions. Sober, I have the bandwidth to feel my feelings rather than zoom past them in a blur, process them from the stable foothold of the Steps, and to respond rather than react. I’m off the emotional carnival ride!
My youngest and I were looking at her sister’s wedding pictures recently, and she said, “Mom, you look like a completely different person now.” That’s because I am a different person – not completely, but I’m on my way.
What has been the most profound personality change that sobriety has gifted you? Thank you for the opportunity to chair and share.