I was especially touched lately by the introduction of some of our new members. They describe the confusion, desperation and fear I felt before finally asking for help. I thought I was doing the things in life that would make me happy and make me feel fulfilled. But I was not happy or fulfilled. I was lonely, scared, angry and full of pride. I had prayed for a couple of years for help with the drink problem. The answer was always the same, AA. I knew nothing about AA, but I was NOT going there and saying out loud that I was alcoholic. There was also fear of giving up alcohol, it had been the solution at one time, it took away the fear, the low self-esteem, made me more outgoing socially and I felt part of when at happy hours and parties.
But happy hours and parties were long gone. I was sitting at home alone drinking myself drunk every night and starting early in the morning on week-ends and holidays. So, I finally surrendered and went to an AA meeting. I will celebrate 28 years in a few days and I am utterly amazed and grateful for the life I have today.
Who knew all I had to do was give up? I hung on to a few things in the big book,
“Rarely have we seen a person fail…”, “Abandon yourself to God…” “Let go absolutely…”
For a topic, I suggest people share on what surrender looks like to them and if it has worked. My best prayers are “Thy will be done” and “Direct my thinking”. When I quit fighting and trust God good things happen and I learned how to quit fighting by working steps and being an active member of AA.