Connecting with your Higher Power
I apologize for being so late getting the topic out today. No excuses. Dysfunctional thinking (or not thinking). My brain has been on vacation all week! In fact, my mental disconnection applies to more than our meeting …
I am going through a phase of backing off the connection with my Higher Power. I’m not angry or disappointed. There is no particular reason, but I am not praying much, and I am not feeling that presence. This has been going on for a couple of weeks. And this is not the first time it’s happened in sobriety. It can last from weeks to months. The longer it lasts, the more likely I am to become irritable, impatient, and just plain ol’ unpleasant.
But I’m not really worried about it. I am still engaged in the program of AA and applying the steps in everything I do. My HP knows what I think and feel before I am aware. “He” probably saw this coming long before it started. “He” is loving and forgiving and will indulge my distance. He will let me take care of things and be amused when I run into my own character defects. He knows that those defects will bring me back, humbled and willing to begin again.
In my early days, I would have been anxious and guilty, feeling like a failure in the program and a disappointment to my God. Today, I know that my Higher Power loves me and will always be there for me, no matter what. It’s okay to take a few steps back now and then. I am not a failure. I haven’t completely disconnected. I’ve just gone quiet for a while. This, too, shall pass.
So, I invite you to share about your connection with your Higher Power. Do you ever “disconnect?” How does it make you feel? And what do you do about it? Of course, please share on anything you need to this week.