Step 5 Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. pg 55 in the 12 and 12: But of things which really bother and burn us, we say nothing. Certain distressing or humiliating memories we tell ourselves, ought not be shared with anyone. These will remain our secret. Not a soul must ever know. We hope they’ll go to the grave with us.
There are any number of things that I have heard shared at meeting level that I could not believe anyone would share, let alone share in a group of relative strangers. Many of these behaviors, situations, mistakes, were things that had happened to me and caused me great shame. It has been my experience that when I share these parts of my story at a group level, at least one or two members will come up to me and say the same for them.
The 5th step helped me lose my sense of shame, especially when what I was sharing was reflected back to me as being human. As a sponsor, there are a number of ways I have suggested these deep seated secrets get exposed. When we start Step 4, I suggest that the secret be written on a piece of paper, sealed in an envelope and given to me for safe keeping. That keeps it from prying eyes and gets it out into the open. I was working with a woman in rehab who didn’t want to do a 5th step with me. What we worked out was she would tell her counselor and her counselor would confirm with me that she had done a 5th step.
There are any number of options for accomplishing this : Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. What are some of the ways you have approached the 5th Step?