November 3: Step 11

Topic for the week: Step 11

We are all invited to share on Step 11. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 11 ***
“Sought through prayer and meditation to increase our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.”

This step is listed in Chapter 5, How it Works, from the book, Alcoholics Anonymous (affectionately known as the Big Book) (see p. 59). There’s more in Chapter 6 (Into Action), starting at the bottom of p. 85. There’s even more about it in the book, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.

*** Where to get the books, Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions ***

You can find these books at many f2f AA meetings; you can order them online from many places. And they are available from the AA General Service office, to read online, in English, French, and Spanish. See www.aa.org/

If the track to step 11 looked like a straight line, my path on it would look like an erratic EKG. I’ve completely abandoned any concept of a Higher Power 3 times in my life, and have been an agnostic for many years. At times, I’ve removed all the G-words from my BBs.I’ve also spent so much time talking to the whatever-God of my then-understanding that I was having a hard time relating to ‘Earth people’, and wanted to find a cave or mountaintop to live a totally spiritual existence without much human contact. Yep, an extremist…

I studied all sorts of paths and faiths. None seemed totally acceptable, so I went cafeteria-style,picking and choosing bits here & there. I’ve never been ‘religious’ but am – usually –  quite spiritual. But that’s me. I’m a lifelong contrarian. Picky and often critical. Far from perfect. Always seeking the ‘right’ answer for me. Perhaps a fairly typical alcoholic in most ways.

This past year, I even opened up to mainstream Christian religion for the first time, after a lifetime of believing it had failed me. In reality it was people, and myself, that had failed me. Now I’ve learned more, experienced more, including the ‘wow’ experience of the Holy Spirit entering my body (which my husband witnessed; it was wild!!). I still don’t want to be ‘just’ a Christian. I’ve learned so much from so many paths, & had some great teachers. Anyway, enough of MY way.

My point in saying all this is that I had to be open to change, as I changed. I had to be willing to study, to practice meditation, to pray at least once a day to ‘The Great Whatever’ that now resides within me, stays next to me, and meets me on the street and in meetings with other healing souls. It has probably been the most rewarding journey in my long, strange trip through life.