November 10: Living in the Solution

Topic for the week:  Living in The Solution

Alcoholics Anonymous “Big Book”, chapter We Agnostics, pages 24/25:

“If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would have recovered long ago.  But we found that such codes and philosophies did not save us, no matter how much we tried.  We could wish to be moral, we could wish to be philosophically comforted, in fact, we could will these things with all our might, but the needed power wasn’t there.  Our human resources, as marshaled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly.

Lack of power, that was our dilemma.  We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.  Obviously.  But where and how were we to find this Power?  Well, that’s exactly what this book is about.  Its main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem.

That means we have written a book which we believe to be spiritual as well as moral.  And it means, of course, that we are going to talk about God.  Here difficulty arises with agnostics. Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship.  But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored.”

Excerpt from Twenty-four Hours A Day, page 116, Meditation For The Day:

“Pray and keep praying until it brings peace and serenity and a feeling of communion with One who is near and ready to help.  The thought of God is balm for our hates and fears.  In praying to God, we find healing for hurt feelings and resentments.  In thinking of God, doubts and fears leave us.  Instead of those doubts and fears, there will flow into our hearts such faith and love as is beyond the power of material things to give, and such peace as the world can neither give nor take away.  And with God, we can have the tolerance to live and let live.”

My share:
When I first came to AA, I was told There Is A Solution.  Then I’m told that Solution is a spiritual life and a relationship with a Power greater than myself.  I thought to myself “Oh come on you must be joking, this must be a subset of AA for religious people; so where’s the AA solution for a drunk like me?”

When I finally came down off my high horse and set aside my contemptuous thinking, I decided to try this Open-minded idea, then spiritual ideas became interesting and the Willingness to search internally and externally became my journey 30 years ago.  The excerpt from Twenty-four Hours A Day describes for me personally exactly what I have experienced and it is real and true.  I’m one of those that needs the experience to be a believer.  The spiritual life is not a theory; it is a real experience that must be experienced.  🙂

I have tried doing the AA program so many different ways except as suggested in the first 164 pages of the Big Book; I have tried sobriety = with different programs, on my own, through just religion, without god or spirituality, with just meetings and slogans, with only The Steps I was comfortable with, etc etc.  I was always looking for the easier and softer way, which is why I don’t have a continuous 30 years of sobriety.

Nothing worked for me until I committed my whole self to the whole AA program as written in the first 164 pages of the Big Book.  The Steps brought me to God as I understand God and that relationship is the most important relationship I have because it keeps me sober and mostly sane. 🙂  If I have no sobriety and no God, then I have nothing but a self-centered life that seeks ego gratifying things like alcohol, drugs, overeating, shopping, men etc.

When I’m feeling helpless, hopeless, and fearful, I speak to my Higher Power and it helps to know I’m not alone and that there is a Power I can turn to that helps guide me through the storms in life and the helplessness and powerless feelings melt away.  When I’m full of gratitude and feeling blessed, that Power is there to help me sustain that balance so I can keep that within me even if my day isn’t going very smoothly.  When I’m confused, finding myself at a crossroads, that Power helps guide me to answers and the direction I need to go.  I have had so many cool spiritual experiences by now that having that connection to God is what makes life worth living and sobriety worth having, even through trauma and pain.

When I’m in conscious contact with the God of my understanding, I do feel a healing peace.  There is no ability to be angry or hateful.  The discontent with life is replaced with Love and gratitude.  I have to literally shut God out of my thoughts to be angry, resentful, hateful, vengeful, full of self-loathing and self-pity, etc. – so I am literally Edging-God-Out so I can drive the bus and live life on only my terms in my justified negative dis-eased emotions.  That attitude only brings me more pain and dis-ease.  My alcoholism thrives on these emotions and my spirituality starts withering because I’m no longer in the Sunlight Of The Spirit: I’m now in a spiritual darkness creating bad inventory.  But as soon as I let God in through conversation/prayer, I start feeling better.

Sometimes, there’s just getting through the pain and getting on with living and God is still there providing comfort, hope and guidance – like the poem Footprints In The Sand, which is a favorite of mine because sometimes I feel very alone and that poem reminds I’m not alone at all.

The word prayer can sound so formal but really it’s just me speaking quietly from my heart about anything and everything to HP.  Then there’s quiet time for reflection/meditation and that’s usually when I receive the guidance I need whispered quietly to my spirit.  My meditation isn’t formal either, I just turn on some background noise like instrumental smooth jazz, or crackling fireplace, or tropical rainforest, or thunderstorms and then I color so the normal chatter in my brain can relax and I can be open to whatever messages the spirit world needs me to hear.  There are some amazing adult coloring books out there.

Quiet time is nice too but I live in an apartment complex so those quiet moments are for times at night when the world has shut down and I can sit on my deck and listen to the crickets and the frogs and enjoy the stars and the moon.

I like to use candles too but I have cats so I got a bunch of flameless candles and they create a very relaxing atmosphere.  Every now and then I go to a room where I can shut the door and sit with a real candle.  Going through the motions of creating a spiritual atmosphere around me produces emotional and psychological effects of peace in my thoughts where the normal every day chatter can be quiet so the spiritual messages can be heard and received.  An ambiance of calm, peace, safety and Love, if only for a few moments, in a world that can seem chaotic and unsafe.  My spiritual quiet time with my Higher Power is how I recharge my spiritual batteries.

Living the AA spiritual life is living in The Solution for me personally and it works!!

I’m wondering how are you Living in The Solution?  Or whatever you feel like sharing on because this is your meeting.

Thank you for the humbling honor of chairing this meeting.

In Spiritual Fellowship,
Heather B
7/27/18