Topic for the week: Willingness
My name is Alison B. and I am an alcoholic. Welcome new gals & congratulations to anyone celebrating a milestone this week. I actually turn 30 years sober on Monday and I for one, am flabbergasted at this development. It is almost as if it is someone else’s birthday, not mine. A different Alison that is somehow connected to me. (Never mind that I have been hauling her butt to meetings for 30+ years, lol.)
I have been mulling over a topic for a while now. What popped up for me today is the topic of Willingness. When I was new to sobriety my sponsor used to say things like; “Willingness is the key that unlocks the doors for you.” “Just be willing to try on new ideas.” “Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness are all you need to make this program work.”
What was that??? What did she just say? I’m so confused by all of this………that was my take on this AA stuff all those years ago. It was a bit like listening to someone babble in a foreign language that I did not know! So, I just kept showing up and not drinking in between meetings. I trusted in the process. I have shared in the past how I used to sleep with the Big Book hoping that I might somehow assimilate some of the magical information during my resting hours, as I could not comprehend the stuff I read. I simply could not focus on the material. When I was really struggling, my sponsor used to suggest that I pray for the willingness to…………………..fill in the blank for yourself here.
From the Cambridge English Dictionary:
the quality of being happy to do something if it is needed: [ + to infinitive ] She shows a willingness to work on her own initiative.
Throughout his career he has demonstrated a willingness to compromise. Synonyms. desire (WANT)
For me the happy part came later in sobriety, lol. I was not happy when I first walked into AA. So, I became willing to take direction, willing to do the work, willing to make amends, willing to clean house, willing to believe in a Power greater than myself, willing to sacrifice, willing to move forward, willing to take inventory, willing to be honest with myself and others, willing to show up, willing to grow, etc.
And my doors opened, and the light came in. Here I am nearly 30 years later, and I have been given the gifts of sobriety. I can say that I am Happy, Joyous & Free today. Happy to seek God’s Will for me. Joyous at the life I have been given. Free from alcohol. There is a solution for any problem that comes up. And that my friends, is the most freeing of all. Thank you to all the women who have come before me and illuminated my path to spirituality. Because, the point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines, and willingness is the key! It unlocks the door to a new way of life.
Blessings,
Alison B.