In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 79
Have you ever thought that the harm you did a business associate, or perhaps a family member, was so slight that it really didn’t deserve an apology because they probably wouldn’t remember it anyway? If that person, and the wrong done to him, keeps coming to mind, time and again, causing an uneasy or perhaps guilty feeling, then I put that person’s name at the top of my “amends list,” and become willing to make a sincere apology, knowing I will feel calm and relaxed about that person once this very important part of my recovery is accomplished.
From the book Daily Reflections.
Copyright © 1990 by Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All rights reserved.
My share:
Earlier this week, I actually had this happen. A seemingly small disturbance kept coming to mind over and over from a few days of working together with my stepdaughter for a new property management company. Yet, since it continued to come to mind and weigh on me, I addressed it directly with my stepdaughter. It was something where I felt I owed her an apology for behavior that I found to be less than professional out of myself after looking back. She accepted the apology but said it was totally unnecessary. I thanked her for understanding and said I still wanted to say something because it wasn’t who I was trying to be. It was left at that. The air was clear, both between us and inside my headspace.
Earlier this week, I was in a meeting and heard a reference of a small disturbance in life being compared to a small pebble that gets in a runner’s shoe. At first, yes, it is a small disturbance, but left unchecked it can cause all sorts of problems! So it is with the small pebbles of life’s disturbances that start to live rent free in my head if I let them. This program has taught me that straight away I need to get down to causes and conditions, straight away I need to do the next right thing as indicated, all the while asking God for help and sharing with another AA.
What does the Daily Reflections reading bring up for you? Or anything else you need to share on the basis of recovery from alcoholism today, the floor is now open for sharing.