Jan 18: Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change

Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change

One of the biggest reasons I drank (first because I liked the taste) but more importantly because I had a bad attitude and outlook on life in general. Work, family, friends, finances – you name it and I could find some fault with it somehow, someway. When I drank, I could change that attitude and outlook by thinking that I could change people, places, and things. What I found out as my drinking progressed was that family especially didn’t like my attitude and outlook on things. My friends (really only my drinking buddies) felt the same way as I did most of the time, but didn’t want to change anything so then I was not in agreement with them and my outlook on them wasn’t very good.

One night I had been celebrating my 61st birthday (as I had been for six days) and was talking to my youngest daughter on the phone, and she asked me if I had been drinking. I said yes I had had a couple, and she than informed me they would have nothing to do with me until I quit drinking and hung up on me. I was devastated and 2 hrs later called her back and said “I need help and don’t know what to do.”

Needless to say she got me into rehab. I was in an awesome rehab for 13 days, and they felt I was ready to come home. One of the things I learned in rehab, amongst many, was I had a bad attitude and outlook on life. I was making my life miserable myself due to this, and thus turned to alcohol to make me feel good. I took all their suggestions at rehab and started going to AA meetings 6 days a week and online to GROW every day. It was through the shares of everyone at the meetings and you ladies that I realized how I needed to change so many things in my attitude and outlook.

This promise has definitely come true for me in so many ways. I realize today that it is not all about Carol and what I think. It is about helping newcomers and people outside of the program. Helping people who maybe don’t have it as good as I do. It’s about doing service work in my homegroup. It’s about not being judgmental of other people, places and things. I struggle with why everyone that comes too AA cannot get it and why they have too relapse but today I so understand that everyone has to hit their own bottom and I can only be there for them if they need me and pray for them. It is in God’s hands not mine. I feel so blessed that God (my higher power) holds my hand and walks with me every day. Thank you ladies for all you have given me through your shares and friendship as my attitude and outlook on life today is how God wants me to see it.