We share a common disease and we share a common solution.
However, our individual conception of God is unique.
When Bill had Ebbe round for what he thought would be a good ole session – pg 9 BB , his friend showed up, ‘ fresh – skinned, glowing. There was something different about his eyes.’
His friend didn’t drink anymore. He had found religion.
Bill’s story continues to describe his personal experience with religion and he begins to lean into the 3 pertinent ideas;
A) that we were alcoholic
B) that no human power could relieve us of our alcoholism
C) that God could and would if he was sought
A simple admission and immediate change of consciousness.
I spent years trying to control my drinking, trying to manage my inner and outer world. Invariably trying to control the outer world to make my inner world feel ‘better’ (pg 61 BB articulates this nicely)
When I drank alcohol, at the beginning, it gave me a false sense of peace. That the world was ok.
Today the world doesn’t have to be ok, it is in God’s hands.
Mother Theresa said, “If you want to change the world, go home and love your family” Today it starts with me on the right footing because I am practising this 12 Step program with God in my life.
“I don’t believe I drank to get drunk, but always to seek in the next drink that peace for which a sick soul seems to thirst.”
Los Angeles, Calif., August 1965, “The Spiritual Kind of Thirst”, Spiritual Awakenings
I didn’t like the taste of alcohol – I liked how it made me feel and even from a very young age , I was displaying behaviours that weren’t natural. I had ‘isms’ just waiting for the first drink that would quieten the disease , the temporary fix.
Jung identified in his letter to Bill W referring to his patient , one of us, Roland H “His craving for alcohol was the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness, expressed in medieval language: the union with God.*”
Back to Bill – pg 12 BB , recognising the change in his friend, he has the seeds of a psychic change himself as he contemplates God, to which Ebbe suggests – “Why don’t you choose your own conception of God?”
From this we are free from our own old conceptions of religion, spirituality and God, to have a new experience and enter the Realm of the Spirit.
At my first meeting, God had been mentioned and I left thinking, fantastic, what a load of nonsense ! A cult! I’ll just have to carry on drinking … continuing to gather more material for my Step 4. Until I was ready and we have to be entirely ready.
I was scared that I wouldn’t have a spiritual experience at first , I used to think, well there are all these religious people committed to God, seeking, why on earth would I be so special that this will happen and I was a bit apprehensive that I wouldn’t have one.
God removed my desire to drink – I had been trying on my own self will for years and I couldn’t stop. My first spiritual experience.
Step 3 guided me further into my own understanding and a safety net of love and hope.
From that spiritual platform I was able to do an honest and thorough Step 4 & 5.
Step 7 / I did as we are told and spent an hour in church asking God to remove my defects of character. God is able to remove them, I’ve got to honestly want to let them go !
Continuing to take personal inventory- then to my 6 & 7 then Step 11. I fall deeper in love with my program the more I practice the disciplines and principles that this new way of life offers.
I have a different consciousness through working the program. It can only be described as a spiritual awakening.
Other spiritual experiences, the mystical God moments have occurred, the synchronicity of things- my relationships today – my Sponsee’s and fellowship. I feel full up – my soul is brimming.
The program has been described as aimed at the Spirit so whether it is the Great Outdoors – the rooms- God – whatever our unique conception is – if we are willing to grow along spiritual lines, we will see the results.
Pg 567 Appendix 11 BB
Spiritual Experience
In the above – William James refers to the experience I have had as the, “educational variety”
I know that some people have had profound spiritual experiences in their recovery. I would love to read more about your collective experiences.