For this week’s topic I have chosen passages for The Vicious Cycle p.219-231. This is the story of AAs first atheist/agnostic and from whom we get the saying “God as we understand Him.”
“The age-old question in A.A. is which ciouscame first, the neurosis or the alcoholism. I like to think I was fairly normal before alcohol took over.”
Jim Burwell developed an aversion to churches and all religions when he was sent to a religious school at 11. He took his first drink at University at 19, and though not very successful in his education he went on to be a big success in business. As he said, “As long as things were tough and the job a challenge, I could always manage to hold on quite well, but as soon as I learned the combination, got the puzzle under control, and the boss to pat me on the back, I was gone again.” He had a knack for turning companies around and then blowing it all up by getting drunk again.
Though his story was not included in the first edition it has been ever since.
For me, I went to a religious school at 13 and developed my aversion to churches and organized religion during that time too. In my college years I majored in playing pool and drinking to excess, my studies went by the wayside, and I finally told my Dad that I was going to stop wasting his money and my time and went to work. My grandiose ideas were that I could go as far as anyone with an education, boy, was I wrong.
I’d had my heart broken and I was pissed, I could do anything the guys could and proceeded to have a very promiscuous life. One night stands were my norm. The blackouts were just a byproduct. Waking up in strange places was the norm. I was always relieved to find my car afterwards and to get home. There was no remorse in me, I was tough.
And then the DWIs started, one in 1983 but I did not stop drinking then. I don’t remember if anyone suggested AA to me but I didn’t go. The second one got my attention in 1990 as the laws had changed and I knew I was in trouble.
When my drinking buddy attorney suggested I go to as many meetings of AA as I could before my court date, I complied. When he suggested I do out-patient treatment as well, I rebelled somewhat but did it anyway.
I was one of the lucky ones, at my third meeting I knew I was home, y’all were my people. You had something I wanted and I would stick around until I figured it out, never realizing that would become my lifestyle and there is always something new to learn.
I go to meetings most days, belong to two email women’s groups, I do service at most groups I attend, and I always try to share at every meeting and I work with women. My life is full and I have everything I need, and I wouldn’t trade my life today for anything.
Thanks for letting me share, it is now your meeting and I look forward to your shares this week.