Letting Up on Disciplines
Sorry for the lateness of the meeting but just got a message from Laura B. that she needed a substitute so I really did not have alot of time to think so I’m going with something that I have a tendency to struggle with. That is “Letting Up on Disciplines”. The one thing I have come to learn about the program of AA is that it is a program of action. It is up to me, Carol D, to take the action today to not drink one day at a time. Now I have been given a tool kit with all new tools in it to help me to do this. In my tool kit I have prayer, meditation, daily inventory, AA attendance, and service to the groups. My daily routine when I get up is of course to use the ladies room, get cleaned up and ready for work. I just recently realized that I have this extra time in the morning to say my prayers, and do my meditation for the day instead of flipping on the TV and watching HLN. So here I am on my way to work saying my prayers and trying to meditate while all these cars are zooming by me or the deer are running out in the road in front of me.
Just this past week I have been changing my routine a little to get my prayers in as soon as I sit down after getting ready for work instead of flipping on the TV. At night when I go to bed (you are gonna love this one but the truth) I read AA literature and seem to have to have some candy. I noticed that I was getting very tired (probably from the candy) and forgetting to take my daily inventory but I have always thanked God (my higher power) for my sobriety for that day. So now I am doing my prayers and daily inventory before I read and eat my candy.
Prior to my retirement and getting this parttime job I would go from work to an AA meeting as I usually worked late. Now I get home anywhere from 12:30 – 4:30 pm so I will get comfortable and than not want to get cleaned up to go to a meeting, plus I am getting to where I hate driving so far all the time. So Friday night my sponsor and I were going to go to a meeting and on Thurs. she had a root canal done so needless to say was not feeling up to it. So now the stinkin thinkin comes in my head that I really don’t have to go to a meeting and I really don’t want to go by myself. My head went back and forth until finally I just got up and decided to go. My trip was 93 miles round trip but an awesome women’s meeting up north. I was so glad I went and felt so much better after I left the meeting for the drive home. So I am committing myself to that meeting every other Fri night.
I have noticed that I have not been doing alot of volunteering in the past year and I realized it was because if I did I would have to keep that committment. Hello, not sure I wanted to do that. It just amazes me at myself what this program has taught me. I am going to start volunteering again to set up a meeting and chair more often in my other groups.
This is all the things that have got me this far in my sobriety and has kept me from a relapse. The things that I was very disciplined about in my first 4 yrs sober so today I know that letting up on my disciplines gets me to stinkin thinkin and that I don’t like.
Thank you gals for letting me chair and for being such a huge part of my journey in sobriety. I hope all of you take just a little bit of your time to share this week as that is also service work and also helps me alot. Have a great week to all of you.