“We have shown how we got out from under. You say, “Yes, I’m willing. But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum, like some righteous people I see? I know I must get along without liquor, but how can I? Have you a sufficient substitute?”
Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead. Thus we find the fellowship, and so will you.
“How is that to come about?” you ask. “Where am I to find these people?”
You are going to meet these new friends in your own community. Near you, alcoholics are dying helplessly like people in a sinking ship. If you live in a large place, there are hundreds. High and low, rich and poor, these are future fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous.Pg 152 BB- A Vision For You
My Share…..
Hilarious that he says: “But am I to be consigned to a life where I shall be stupid, boring and glum like righteous people I see? LOL!!! The word righteous means: (of a person or conduct) morally right or justifiable; virtuous. I’m assuming he is referring to religious or basic normal people of the time, as I would have easily agreed with that assessment.
We as alcoholic types tend to lean more toward excitement and stimulating people who, through the lens of alcohol, seem a lot smarter and funnier than we actually are. I think I was more attracted to the familiar dysfunction than their vast wisdom! At least when I was intoxicated I could pretend to have intellectual and stimulating conversations, that I didn’t, or couldn’t have sober. Alcohol gave me courage and words just flowed out uninhibited. Of course the next day I was embarrassed and humiliated-even if I didn’t necessarily have a bad night, just the cringe factor alone put a darkness over whatever profound words were spoken.
“Yes, there is a substitute and it is vastly more than that. It is a fellowship in Alcoholics Anonymous. There you will find release from care, boredom and worry. Your imagination will be fired. Life will mean something at last. The most satisfactory years of your existence lie ahead.
Fact! You people are not boring, glum or stupid….and some of us are even righteous in our own right, but certainly not by our own making. I sponsor and have sponsored some of the most intellectual gems that have just gotten stuck in their dis-ease in one way or another. Seeking refuge from the same mind that gets me entangled in doing something over and over, expecting different results, is not an option for the real alcoholic.
I can’t think my way out of a mental dis-order. I can’t attend tons of church services, memorize scripture or positive affirmations and think that my spiritual malady is treated. I can’t workout for hours on end and eat right, and think that someday my physical body can safely consume and process alcohol without succumbing to the bodily allergy that manifests into a “craving”.
Alcoholics have a 3 fold illness Mind; Body and Spirit. All three sides must be treated to be restored to wholeness, or sanity. Side note: Making decisions when one, or all of those areas are untreated, will always render less than desired outcomes. Even if I get lucky a few times- nature, spirit and physics tell me I will have to experience the outcome of a bad decision reguagless. So the more sane I get the more better results. More better???
One of the major things missing in my life prior to AA and working with other alcoholics, was true fellowship or connection. My personal interpretation of connection and fellowship may differ from yours, in that I don’t have to hang out, talk or text all the time with people. Bill LOVED being around people-my husband’s NA sponsor loves people, can’t get enough.
I, on the other hand, am not like that. I love and connect with people from afar…lol! I’m in no way a hermit, but I very much enjoy solitude and that is ok. For a long time I struggled with this because I always heard “don’t isolate” which I found is way different from solitude. I NEVER feel empty, discontent or lonely. I know that feeling very well, which is the same feeling that drove all of my decisions and relationships prior to knowing my sufficient replacement-God.
In the beginning I did need the fellowship for different reasons than I need to fellowship now. Back then it was because I was in excruciating pain from having just broken up with alcohol that I did “need” the fellowship-kinda like using a rebound relationship for relief from the pain. The fellowship’s role now takes on new meaning as I am not dependent on it, or using it to fill me; rather, I see you all as an asset to my sobriety and growth, and I hopefully an asset to yours as we learn how to become a part of a greater whole.
That doesn’t mean any of us are perfect, just that we have a greater purpose that overrides petty and superficial disagreements. Essentially it’s how I suspect human relationships were organically designed to be. We may not see eye to eye or even like each other, but that doesn’t sway us from pulling together for the greater good of keeping it going for the next generation while honoring everyone’s right to exist. We are a group of individuals that are a part of, not separate from, with God as the author….the personalities can be anything they want…just as long as the common purpose remains unaltered.
I heard a speaker say: “If all the systems broke down, and all AA meetings were suspended, or I was alone on a desert island with endless amounts of alcohol, would I drink again? No. Of course not.” I wanted that sobriety!
No human power could get or keep me sober. God does that. What the fellowship was designed to do was to support the continued growth of our collective experience sober while helping others with our experience, not to be dependent or contingent on for overall sustainability sobriety. Some interpretations of our little program here are that WE get and keep you sober on the fellowship or on meetings alone-or that the sponsor is supposed to keep you sober with endless amounts of conversations with little to no real action.
We are a fog light, or a bridge, for the newcomer to God that will ultimately keep them sober while they work their Steps and support in their continued growth. I don’t gate keep my sponssees to just “stay afloat” or create a dependence on me. That is a misuse of our role. We offer our experience with the principles of the program provided they spiritually consented to the spiritual solution. I couldn’t even keep myself sober, let alone anyone else. I am not gonna sponsor someone who is unwilling to go to any lengths and then grow along with them in our principles, it just creates discourse and I refuse to do battle with their free will.
The long and short…Fellowship is great, relationships with people are wonderful, but I do not require them to make me feel safe or fill me up; which paradoxically makes the relationship better. God is God. Fellowship is fellowship. Service is service. It’s when I replace, misuse or confuse roles by using them for anything other than what they are actually intended for, leads to imbalances.
So-my sufficient replacement to ensure that I never become stupid or boring..lol..is by working all three sides of the triangle alongside the most non boring people ever!!
Share your experience with the above passage, fellowship, program, personalities, misconceptions coming in, expectations of AA or sponsors…whatever!
Share your experience with the above passage, fellowship, program, personalities, misconceptions coming in, expectations of AA or sponsors…whatever!