Hello lovely ladies of GROW,
Marti here, grateful recovering alcoholic and grateful to be here and be of service! Welcome to the newcomers! It has been quite a long time since I have actively participated. I have remained quiet and still sober through the grace of my Higher Power who I call God.
I would like to start out with the “Acceptance” passage from p. 417 in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.
Page 417 Acceptance
A.A. Big Book – Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
I have had lately a lot of unmanageability and chaos here in my house- specifically with my 18 year old daughter who just went off to college. I feel like I have had several emotional hangovers in the past week alone. She has a lot of anger towards me regarding my drinking history and also of my not being around much when she was younger due to going to AA meetings. She has seen me relapse multiple times over the years since 2008. I am so grateful that I have been able to stay sober on a daily basis since July of 2016. I am trying to be a good role model for her also which I don’t know if she really sees.
I am powerless over people- my daughter-, places and things. I cannot change her, and I need to fully understand and accept that she is who she is right now and to stop wishing that she would act and respond differently to me. I must accept that she is the person who she is right now and be okay with it. Acceptance has always been difficult for me. I want everything to be just right- to have things the way I want and when I want. LOL- real alcoholic thinking!! It’s a matter of working that Step 3 also- to turn Everything and Everybody over to my Higher Power.
I am grieving in a way also the fact that both she and my son are away at college. They are both very far away now. I have been so emotional and missing them so much. I am longing for the days when they were young. Acceptance again- they are where they are supposed to be for this time being, and I am where I need to be at this time. I have been praying the Serenity Prayer a lot which also helps! I am learning to adjust to this transition and to remain sober while I go through it. Sobriety must always remain my Number One priority!! I also must not hold on to any resentments towards my daughter. She had said some very hurtful things to me before we took her to college. I also realized that I do not know what is really going on in other people’s head, and that they may be experiencing a lot of fear just like I do.
One more thing about acceptance. I had lost another nursing job just this past June- I was still under my 90 days probation. I thought it was going to be my “dream job.” Well it did not work out, and I was told that it was not the “right fit” for me. I am actually relieved and grateful that it happened and, I have accepted it. It allowed me the opportunity to change careers and to pursue a different “calling” which I am very passionate about.
Thank you for the opportunity to be of service. Dear sober friends, I look forward to reading your shares. Pleases share on the topic of Acceptance, how to deal with transitions or any other topic that is on your mind.
Love and Hugs, Marti DOS 7-4-16