Amends
My God has a real sense of humor and allowed me to receive the blessing of my last of my amends to be resolved. When I was two years sober I went back to Canada with the hope of resolving some issues. The final and hardest being amends to my youngest son. I sat across the table from him in his home and tried with all my heart to clear my side of the street. It was increasingly obvious that he wanted no part of this at all. He sat there drinking and smoking dope defiantly, starting straight at me as if daring me to do or say something in anger. I managed to pause and practiced restraint and I walked out saying I love you and I always will. I came back to Florida and for many years had no idea where he was. In 1991 my mother and I went to visit with him and my grandchildren and he was so abusive to us we left. I have not seen him since then. In 1997 I got a phone call and some members on here will remember sitting in a chat room with me while I waited through the night to see if he was going to live after someone had cut his throat. Then again years with no knowledge of where he was.
About 3 years ago I got a Xmas card, then a Mothers’ day card and a birthday card and so on. My birthday was a couple of weeks ago and a day or so afterwards I got a card in the mail from him with a beautiful written note and a phone number. I was so excited I could hardly contain myself. Of course no restraint I tried to call him that very day but there was no answer. The next day I tried again and he answered and I felt that the weight of the world had been lifted from my heart. We talked for an hour and a half and I didn’t even know it had been that long. My husband told me. We talked about everything including spirituality, which absolutely blew me away.
It was a long time coming. 33 years but I finally have my son back in my life and I am so grateful to the God of my mis-understanding for bringing him back to me.
Please let us know some of your joys and your hardships with amends or share with us whatever is on your mind.