Dec 01: I am not alone. Thank you.

I am not alone. Thank you.

In my mindfulness and 12 steps book, the prayer for one’s “taking refuge in community (sangha)” is just this: “I am not alone. Thank you.”

I will be attending my first face to face meeting Wednesday night at a women’s group 1/2 hour away. I tried about 9 months ago and panicked because I couldn’t find it – so I left and didn’t go back. I have held onto the GROW group and to my online sponsor because it’s all I’ve had other than my therapist. I’m afraid for a number of personal and professional reasons – some of them reasonable, others not so much.

After an emotionally rough weekend before Thanksgiving, my therapist and I talked about my isolation, and we both agreed I need to take some risk and have some trust if I want any relief. Isolating has made the past year harder and more painful.

A favorite poem by Hafiz has been helping me:

A hunting party 
Sometimes has a greater chance 
Of flushing love and God 
Out into the open 
Than a warrior 
All alone.

So this week is it. I have addressed my professional fears by planning to talk to my boss Monday, and I’ve already talked to my HR rep (who was very supportive).

I’m petrified, but it’s time to take this step and take refuge in a community beyond my computer screen.

So this week I would love for you all to talk about what it was like to gather a hunting party, take refuge in community, and trust others. And if this has been difficult for you to do, we need to know about that too.