Dec 04: The Power of the Pause

The Power of the Pause

I spent all of my conscious life considering myself a tenacious woman. I created myself as the person who rushes in and makes things happen. I was the go-to-gal if you needed something done at work or with my friends and family. I did not fail in this even in my heaviest drinking days, I always seemed to be able to power-through. But with my risky alcoholic behavior, this tenacious woman often rushed headlong into disaster as well.

My self-assured attitude proved to be a potential liability in AA too. I was thrilled to hear this was an action program. I immediately got busy and made coffee and drove women to meetings almost 7 days a week. I insisted that I do the 4th Step right away. Through sponsorship and reading (and writing in) my Big Book, I cobbled together what works as an instant fix for those moments when I feel compelled to rush in: Dont fight anything pause.

I have continued to find it important to my inner comfort (serenity) and my sobriety (physical and emotional) that I do not fight what comes my way. Instead I pause. If I am feeling or thinking negatively what I really need to do is dig deep and find some gratitude for what is working in my life in the big picture – deny the urge to allow the negative thoughts in and focus on the fact that I have indeed had a profound personality change sufficient enough to allow me to be sober today AND that serenity is possible if I do not pick up a drink. I need to remember that if I choose to take one drink I will be swept up in the phenomena of craving and will likely not be able to get back to this good place that I have seen can be a reality for me if I work, or pause, through rough moment.