Boundaries and Expectations
The holiday season is upon us. And for me this brings up resounding gratitude for my sobriety and the choices I am making to take care of myself.
Obligations I used to feel at this time of year would trigger automatic behaviors (going home for the holidays, buying presents). Today, I examine my motives and make choices.
One choice I make is to celebrate the season with my partner, instead of visiting my family of origin.
My aim is to practice the principles of the steps in all my affairs. If I can’t show up and be the person my HP wants me to be, I need to take a step back and/or disengage. I need to set a boundary.
When I go to holiday events and find myself waiting to be paid back somehow—I have an expectation. My motive, in other words, is not to show up and be of service. In these situations, I back up until I find something I can give with an easy heart. Sometimes, I can’t find anything. And that’s okay. It’s my boundary, so I can change it!
In the past year I was surprised to discover that I can be in contact with my dad. I have found the parameters (boundaries) that allow me to give to him without feeling I have sold myself out in the hopes of winning his approval. I can engage without expectation and allow him to be who he is.
That is a Christmas miracle, folks!
Please feel free to share on the topic or whatever is going on in your Program. I’m looking forward to your shares.
Thank you for the opportunity to be of service.