My Magnifying Mind
It is amazing to me that I have been able to stay sober one minute/ one day/ one week/ one year/ etc and, I KNOW that it’s not me doing it. I have learned in this AA Program and from you recovering women how to allow a Power greater than myself to work in my life and guide my actions, words and thoughts (most of the time). God is my Higher Power and He works through you, your shares, the AA Big Book, the Steps, all of the things that make this AA Program what it is.
Before I got sober, my life was a rollercoaster of men, marriages and divorces, geographic cures, blaming and suffering, one upheaval after another, having abandoned my morals/standards/dignity, … after the “umteenth” divorce, I was in soooo much emotional pain that I went to a counselor who insisted that I stay “chemically free” (no alcohol, pills, etc) as we worked together. After about one week without alcohol, as I was sharing my justifiable anger about my life/pain/etc, she suggested that I go to an AA meeting. I was shocked and bewildered and figured I needed to find another counselor.
But I went to the meeting that she suggested. It was a Step Study and the topic was Step 12 (what a coincidence!) ~ “Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.” I sat and listened to those recovering folks share about how they quit drinking and worked this Program and the miracles they had experienced and how their lives had changed for the better. That was the beginning of the most amazing and wonderful adventure I could have ever hoped for ~ sobriety in this AA Program. Today, I generally like the woman I have become and I am more open to allowing God to do what He needs to do so that I can be who He would have me be. (He’s not finished with me yet!) Thank you, God.
As a topic I’d like to offer some passages from the Big Book, Dr. Paul’s chapter “Acceptance Was The Answer” (p 407-). He describes, “It was as if I had, rather than a Midas touch which turned everything to gold, a magnifying mind that magnified whatever it focused on. … If I focus on a problem the problem increases; if I focus on the answer, the answer increases… the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations … I must keep my magic magnifying mind on my acceptance and off my expectations, for my serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance…”
This guidance is so helpful to me because my own “magnifying mind” can blow any issue or problem way out of proportion and I end up with “contagious misery” (I share it with anyone around me). The more I focus on the answer (i.e. the principles and steps and slogans of this Program), the more serenity I have in my life. And, for that I’m deeply grateful. Thank you for the opportunity to share.
Please share on anything I have discussed or however you feel led. Thanks.