Topic for the week: Letting go
I’ve never been good at letting go of what I want, what I (think I) need, and what I love. Alcohol was something I wanted, felt I needed, and loved because it made me forget my life, at least for a little while. When I was told I was an alcoholic and that I would need to give up alcohol in order to get sober, I was aghast…I had never, ever, contemplated life without alcohol.
However, when alcohol took so much more from me than it gave, when it made me want to kill myself rather than face my life each day, when it made my life so very unmanageable, I was finally willing to let it go. I’d got to the point where, if I continued to drink, I was going to die (I’d fallen down stairs more than once and had driven in a blackout), I’d end up in prison (I’d already been arrested once and spent a few days in jail), or I’d end up in a psychiatric ward with a mind so totally gone I’d probably never be released.
As it turned out, giving up alcohol saved my life; it actually gave me a life worth living. But it was scary letting go of something I relied on so much, which is why I started to rely on my Higher Power rather than my own self-will. I couldn’t have let go of alcohol without turning to my Higher Power, and then AA, for comfort, strength, sanity (little by little), and much more.
Even so, letting go of alcohol was only the beginning of letting go of the other things in my life that made it unmanageable and stressful. In order to gain some sanity and serenity I had to learn to let go of some people in my life who didn’t want what was best for me, some places that made me think it might be okay to take a drink/drug, situations I had no control over, and everyday stuff that just wasn’t worth getting stressed out about (I’m still working on this!).
I’ve found that letting go of alcohol (& drugs) and what I can’t control eases my mind and soul, makes me more loving to others, and aligns me more closely with what I believe my HP wants for me and wants me to be. Letting go gives me so much!
Please share on your experiences of letting go, or whatever is on your mind regarding sobriety.
Thanks for letting me share.