Jan 08: Your Actions When No One is Watching

Your Actions When No One is Watching

Lynn, alcoholic here.

I read this in my Keep It Simple daily meditations and it really stuck a nerve. “We learn that even if we can get away with something, we can’t get away from ourselves” In my using days I spent all my time figuring out; how to be half drunk without my family knowing, how to get more alcohol without my husband knowing, where I could hide the booze so no one would know I was drinking, what different public trashcan I could throw my empties so no one at home would know. I was always looking for avenues to get away with my drinking because everyone else cared if I did, but I sure didn’t. I thought I was so smart, sneaking and scoring big when I pulled one over on people. I think you all know where I ended up with this thought process.

I thank my HP for leading me to my first AA meeting and my road to recovery. I worked the steps with everything in me and did everything they told me. It was a white knuckler most days and I stumbled but my HP got me back up. As time passed and I added up days of sobriety I noticed a change in myself as far as personal responsibility. I could sneak drinks and no one would notice but I would! I cared if I stumbled. I cared about how I would feel if I relapsed. Who was this and what the heck happened to the sneaky drunk that looked like me? Not only was I not drinking but I cared what I did and how I acted when no one else noticed. I cared. I had formed a responsibility to myself as well as my HP.

Ladies, how did you come to the point where you cared what you did even if no one else would know? Please share this or whatever you need to talk about today. The meeting is now yours. Have a sober and Happy New Year ladies!

Lynn H. DOS 9/30/96