July 4: Step Seven

Topic for the week:   Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Humbly, being the operative word.

Humility has been in short supply at my house over the past few (scorching hot) weeks. I’ve been cranky with my HP, assuming that I know what is best for me and everyone who lives with me. When I’m in this place I’m not asking the god of my understanding to remove my shortcomings—because I’ve convinced myself I don’t have any. Instead, I’m demanding HP get with my program and change what I can’t—outside circumstances.

Humility, the 12 and 12 reminds me, is to approach my HP with requests, not demands. And since I love the paragraph this information is embedded in, I’ll share it:

“The chief activator of our defects has been self-centred fear—primarily the fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded. Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration. Therefore, no peace was to be had unless we could find a means of reducing these demands. The difference between a demand and a request is plain to anyone.” (12 x 12, P. 76)

Because I am imperfect, I need a higher power. Because I am not my higher power, I am imperfect–I have character defects. Step 7 reminds me that I can ask my higher power to remove them. Then it’s up to me to take the actions indicated.

For those who conflate humility and humiliation, there is a wonderful definition of humility in Step 5 of the 12 and 12.

“To those who have made progress in AA, [humility] amounts to a clear recognition of what and who we are, followed by a sincere attempt to become what we could be.” (12 x 12, p. 58)

I wish you all a beautiful sober week. I’m looking forward to reading your shares on the topic of Step 7 or whatever else is going on in your program.