Expect Miracles Big and Small
Excerpts from the Big Book:
“In working the steps, my life changed. I think differently today; I feel different today. I am new. We have a sign at the A.A. meetings I go to that says ‘Expect A Miracle.’ My sobriety is full of miracles.”
“Today my life is filled with miracles big and small, not one of which would ever have come to pass had I not found the door of Alcoholics Anonymous.”
I wanted to share a recent experience as to how my life has changed since I stopped drinking and began participating in AA 16 months ago.
My story took place at Disneyland during my 60th birthday celebration a couple of months ago. My husband and I were there for four days with my daughter and two grandkids. It was the night before my actual birthday. I was really looking forward to turning 60 at a park where I “grew up,” and it was such a blessing to celebrate with my loved ones. As we were having dinner on my birthday-eve, my husband got a call from work and found out that he needed to address a critical issue immediately. (I had hoped he wasn’t even going to bring his work laptop on the trip in the first place, but he insisted he had to, ‘just in case’.) So when he got the call, my heart sank as I realized this could ruin the celebrating planned for the next day. The subsequent emotions that follow when circumstances don’t go my way immediately set in, including anger and self-pity. (How could his work possibly be more important than my milestone birthday?!)
As I started to react the same way that I always have in the past, somehow I managed to put the brakes on. I looked at my husband’s face after the work call came in and noticed how upset and stressed he was. In the past, I used to think he wanted work to interrupt our leisure time because he likes to be plugged into a computer. But I could clearly see (since my mind was “all there”) that wasn’t the case. Instead of giving him my usual rant and rave routine, I gave him a great big kiss and told him I loved him. He reacted like a prince (we were after all at Disneyland!). He stayed at the park with us as long as he could until 9pm, carried his sleeping grandson back to our hotel, then logged onto work for 3 hours so he could finish in time to celebrate my birthday. This was small miracle #1. The next morning (my birthday), he actually left his cell phone locked in our hotel room so that work could not reach him. Leaving his phone behind? This is unheard of, large miracle #2.
Had I been drinking through this trip, the call from his work would have triggered a huge fight. I’m quite sure the change in my reaction was because I was 100% sober, not to mention a few new “tools” in the box. Because I reacted unselfishly (for a change), it worked out so much better for everyone. I owe that to my sobriety (i.e., GROW, A.A. and God).
There is plenty more work ahead for me, but I do see a pattern of miracles big and small in many areas of my life since I became sober. When I’m socializing with family or friends, I listen to what they are saying and ‘connect’ with them because I’m not worried that my wine glass is getting empty and how quickly I can fill it. My daughter sent me flowers on Mother’s Day and thanked me for being there for her. My brain is clear which makes me a more productive employee. I am generally a better wife, mother, and grandmother. I apologize more often and promptly which means I sleep better at night. And the list goes on … I’m so grateful to be sober!
I would be honored to hear about any miracles big and small that are part of your life today.