Nov 11: The List and The Solution

The List and The Solution

This week I would like to share about the list of resentments and the solution to mastering them.

From the BB page…

We turned back to the list, for it held the key to the future. We were prepared to look for it from an entirely different angle. We began to see that the world and its people really dominated us. In that state, the wrong-doing of others, fancied or real, had power to actually kill. How could we escape? We saw that these resentments must be mastered, but how? We could not wish them away any more than alcohol. This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, “This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done.”

When I first did a fourth step, I made a list. And when I did the fifth step my sponsor, at the time, helped me see my character defects. (I can see them a lot clearer today. Ha.) Today when I get my panties in a wad, my sponsor will send me to do a fourth step and then call her back. It’s easy for me to state my resentments. BUT it’s not so easy to look at it from a different angle.

I have to realize the people who wronged me are spiritually sick.

And to pray for them??!!


The holidays are approaching, and to be honest with you, many of the people on my list happen to be in my family (or my husbands family). Sometimes (ALOT) it feels impossible to see that they are spiritually sick and to pray for them. Especially my dad. It’s so hard for me not to blame him for things in my life. In the program, I have learned to set boundaries and to take care of myself. But sometimes in a single word or look that he gives—-a flame of anger can engulf me. So right now I am preparing myself. I am praying for him and my father in law (who I can’t stand). It’s really hard to pray for them –I don’t know what to say. I am setting time limits on family gatherings. I’m focusing on my husband and children and myself and what works best for our family.

I guess the last thing I want to say is that this stuff isn’t easy. But when I practice what is suggested, things tend to work out and I have peace instead of anger and anxiety.