Topic for the week: Patience, love and tolerance is our code.
Last night at my home group, a woman I have seen come in and out, was obviously under the influence. She sat in her seat, mumbling, swaying, eyes half open. She would say some random words, but generally not too disruptive. I felt my heart rate speed up. I was trying to so hard to focus on the speaker.
The woman started getting louder and making comments. I repeatedly asked her to be quiet. I sat there telling myself she has every right to be here, so long as she’s not disturbing the meeting. It was awkward and uncomfortable. A minute later, she shouted out something terrible to the group and I said “Ok, that’s it, time to go.” I stood up and with the help of another woman, we got her outside.
We were trying to find out how to get in touch with her mother, to get her a ride home, she was belligerent, trying to get back into the church, screaming, she raised her fist, and grazed my jaw, trying to hit me. It was scary, sad and disturbing. One of the men came out and sat with her and calmed her down.
We ultimately called EMS. Her mother came up as she was getting into the ambulance. The look on her face was so sad. She looked defeated, scared and sad.
After they were on their way, we went back to the meeting, just in time for the Lords Prayer.
It was the first time that I experienced something like this in my sobriety. It was a reminder that I must be diligent in working on my recovery. My last drunk landed me in an ambulance and the hospital, just like this woman. I know the most I can do is pray for her.
As I drove home, I was thinking of my former sponsor (who also recently relapsed) thinking that she taught me that patience, love and tolerance is our code. While I felt selfish (annoyed) that I missed my meeting, I knew that I was responsible for helping this woman and I was grateful to grow in patience, love and tolerance. There before the grace of God, go I.
Please share on patience, tolerance, love or anything that might be on your mind.