Topic for the week: Step 10
At the end of the 9th Step, the Big Book introduces us to Step 10. On page 84, it introduces the step: “This thought brings us to Step Ten, which suggests we continue to take personal inventory and continue to set right any new mistakes as we go along … We have entered the world of the Spirit … This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.”
Steps 10, 11, and 12 are steps we continue to do daily as long as we are sober, hopefully for the rest of our lives. In Step 10, self-searching becomes a habit. The first nine steps have led us to this continuous practice: to be mindful of our attitudes and behavior and to set things right when amends are needed. Willingness to keep looking within is very important here.
Some people do Step 10 regularly at the end of each day, doing a mini-4th Step before turning in for the night. The more we practice, our self-awareness grows. For me, I’ve gotten to the point where my gut tells me when I’ve crossed a line that hurt someone and that amends are necessary. That ‘gut warning’ comes when I am anxious, fearful, angry, self-righteous, or resentful. As soon as I notice that knot in my stomach, I either make direct amends (I apologize) or I make a plan for making my amends. Either way, I try hard to go to bed with a clean slate. If that’s not possible, amends are high on my list of priorities the next day.
In the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions on Step 10, Bill W says: “Then comes the acid test: can we stay sober, keep in emotional balance, and live to good purpose under all conditions?” (12×12, page 88)
I’m not sure I know what “living to good purpose” means, but I do know that when I can apply these principles in all my affairs on a daily basis, I can usually pass that acid test. Keeping in emotional balance is the main goal for me, so sometimes I owe amends to myself. Negative self-talk, perfectionism, and over-blown idealism can hurt me and threaten my sobriety. Amends to myself means challenging those negative thoughts and treating myself with the kindness I try to show to others.
As always, I’m not perfect. What I’ve written here represents my spiritual ambition, not my constant reality. And that’s the beauty of this program. As long as I keep working toward both worldly and spiritual growth, I’m heading in the right direction.
Please share with us your Step 10 practices, how you do on that acid test, or anything else you need to share.