Sep 01: To be one in a …

To be one in a …

*”We have not sought to be one in a family, to be a friend among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.”* (p.53, Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions)

*”Our real purpose is to fit ourselves to be of maximum service to God and the people about us” *(p.77, Alcoholics Anonymous)

Thank you so much for letting me lead the meeting for this week, congratulations to all those celebrating an anniversary and welcome to all those who have recently joined GROW. I am very grateful for the help I receive here and throughout AA – the fellowship has not only given me a life but a set of tools to handle it.

I decided to select the lines above because over the years they’ve helped me come back to reality. When I came into AA, full of fear, pride, ego, and a lot of hot air (some of which still remains :), I wrestled any concept of ‘equality’. I simply was better than anyone else and a miracle child or an absolute disgrace to humanity, scum of the earth. That dual superiority-inferiority complex was the only way I knew how to handle life, and words like *’a worker among workers*’ nearly made me keel over in horror!

I mean, me — one amongst many? Do you not know of all my true talents, gifts and abilities?!

That’s when my first sponsor said: “great , lets put all your talents, gifts and abilities to be of service to God and those around you!”

I have to say, I felt the tables were turned. I was so into self I hadn’t really thought of being *of service* to anyone and it reeked of the implication – doormat! I thought that would make me weak!

But like many things in AA, it is far from weak. Today I find more and more that when I see myself as an equal, one amongst many, a member of a family, another friend, another employee, another AA, I truly find liberation and strength. Its not always been easy and I do often struggle with it. But that sense of apart instead of a part of is just another mask of alcoholism which keeps me separated from the fellowship, from humanity, from my HP and tied to the bondage of self. It is through regular taking my own inventory, prayer and being of service have I found that sense of equality and belonging.

So the lesson for me is , if I want to continue to grow and be an equal in society, to stand shoulder to shoulder with others and look them in the eye, instead of down or up at them , I need to be of service to my HP and those around me , in the home, office and meeting. Today I love being able to help another person, even if its just sharing my experience, strength and hope in a meeting or listening to them over a coffee. I am working on carrying this attitude into other areas of my life.

Id love to hear how you have put into practice being one in a family, an AA group, an organisation, a social group, a community or any other part of your life. Please feel free to share on this or anything else related to recovery from alcoholism.