Spiritually Fit vs. Bedevilments
Bedevilment’s are aspects of the alcoholic’s life and personality that are usually in effect before the alcoholic comes into AA and will continue unless the alcoholic actively works the Steps each day.
“We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn’t control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we couldn’t make a living, we had a feeling of uselessness, we were full of fear, we were unhappy, we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people.”
Big Book, page 52
The Bedevilment’s are:
- We were having trouble with personal relationships,
- we couldn’t control our emotional natures,
- we were a prey to misery and depression,
- we couldn’t make a living,
- we had a feeling of uselessness,
- we were full of fear,
- we were unhappy,
- we couldn’t seem to be of real help to other people
When I am not spiritually fit, I am ALL over page 52, even in sobriety. If I am not spiritually fit, I am on a thinking spree, controlling others from fear, managing their life instead of mine … even when these intentions come from a “good place,” thinking I know what’s best for them. This is playing God, this is manipulation, this is not turning ALL of my life over, and I am having a Step 3 issues. Only when I am fit can I let others be themselves … Only when I am fit can I stay out of this mind that wants me dead but will settle for me drunk. Only when I am fit am I and those who love me happy.
How I start my day … rolling out of bed, onto my knees … complete surrender … God’s/HP will, not mine be done. Not my business how others do life.
Coffee with my journal … Gratitude list, Inventory on my defects, intentions for my day, study Big Book, reach out to sponsees, prayer and meditation … takes about an hour or so. This hour is a small price to pay — actually I enjoy it — to keep me from going on a spree and gives me and my family peace, safety, and happiness. We all deserve this. It’s truly up to me to keep fit … or they suffer. I am tired of making others suffer for my defects. It’s not their cross to bear, and I refuse to drain people anymore.
My question to you wonderful ladies is: “How do you keep spiritually fit?” What is your daily routine? How do you keep from unmanageability and off of page 52?