Adventure Called Life
I never paid attention to anyone but myself, as I recall of life before sobriety! I thought I was “hip, slick and cool”, when I was actually a disaster waiting to happen! Welllllllll, it happened – – -and I saw myself as someone no one could love – – -especially me! It has been a slow process to “uncover, discover, and discard” here in the program of AA. And that was all necessary before I could love myself! Thank God you women loved me while I was learning to love myself! I could not have done this without the encouragement and loving hands of the women in AA.
I am not judged (hopefully) by whether or not I stumble. I can only judge myself by the direction I travel. To arrive is not important. To travel in the right direction, making a little progress every day, is the true test of life, for me. My search is never done. My progress within the inner mind is never finished.
I have found that growth is the only thing which can be pursued through a whole lifetime without inducing a feeling of boredom. Things lose their appeal. Ideas become commonplace. People come and go. But growth always remains exciting – –full of surprises and promise. It is through growth that I have learned to love myself.
To remain in the world of beginning again I must continue to make the effort to grow. The alternative is slow death. I have found that my only REAL time is in the PRESENT moment . Today I give it my best shot to find something enjoyable in each precious moment. I will not come this way again. Why not enjoy it?
My sponsor often reminds me that misery is optional. Misery is inside one’s self. It is part of one’s own feelings. Today I can change the way I feel about things, people or circumstances.
Today I would not have the full appreciation of life or inner serenity without being forced to face my own weaknesses, my own limitations and my own inner failures. I had a choice of whether to continue along the road to ego-centric self-sufficiency – – -and die; or whether to make an effort to achieve self-understanding – –and live — -to enjoy life!!! THE ADVENTURE!
This has all come about through the Program of Alcoholics anonymous, for which I am eternally grateful! This is why I always say I am a “grateful recovering alcoholic”! I would never have come to this understanding without being led to this wonderful path of life through being an alcoholic.
Today I believe in myself and love myself (wellllllllllll – – -most of the time)!!!!
I find serenity and peace of mind at those times when I am in balance physically, spiritually and emotionally. I make sure that I focus on each of these at least once a day — – -just a quick spot-check, like in Step 10.
I also would not have made it without ALL the experiences BEFORE AA which led me here!
I look forward to hearing your shares on your adventures from the end of your drinking life to now – – – – getting here and changing through AA!
IT WORKS WHEN I WORK IT, and doesn’t when I don’t!