Jul 15: Feelings in Sobriety

Feelings in Sobriety

It’s so hard to handle and feel emotions and feelings sober! With alcohol, I could sure handle them much better. Alcohol was like a wonder drug for me, it gave me courage, self confidence, and a great mood… For awhile anyway.

My first year sober I heard voices and committee meetings in my head constantly. I had to do some serious praying and God took the voices away. My emotions were so out of control though, luckily my home group was balanced and understood my emotional roller coaster. Feelings for me never last forever, they will pass. But new coping skills took practice and I still don’t always have the emotional balance down like I should. For example, at my new job I have a coworker who was my boyfriend 32 years ago. I was his check racker on roulette yesterday and I had nervous butterflies in my stomach just because he was talking to me asking how I was doing. And I still feel like a 14 year old school girl with a crush when I am interested in a man. (I’m 58). I have heard at meetings that you stop maturing when you had your first drink. So maybe with 10 sober years I have the maturity of a 26 year old? Sometimes I can get lost in resentment which is fatal to the alcoholic. Lots of prayers, distancing myself, and finding my part in it. Sometimes I have fear and I try to pretend I’m not afraid of anything. I know when dealing with feelings sober I need other women alcoholics to talk to because they will probably understand. Gratitude is a great way to get grounded and tame the feelings. Thanks for letting me share! Have a great week Grow ladies!