December 05: Step Twelve

Topic for the week: Step 12

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.”

Thanks for joining in this week. Step 12 is a special, 3 part step.

  1. Spiritual awakening AS THE RESULT of these steps
  2. Carry this message to alcoholics
  3. Practice these principles in all our affairs

The nice thing is that when we find ourselves in these rooms, people with more sobriety help us to start service right away. Since I was fully online when I came into the ‘rooms’ I’ve never had the opportunity to be a part of coffee preparation or to be the greeter, but I learned early on that I can be a part of this group by checking in on people, sharing in meetings, chairing when I had enough sobriety time and eventually by holding service positions. As I moved through the steps and experienced the awakening, the service work has played a key role in keeping me connected to my fellows and I do my best to practice these principles in all my affairs.

I’m not perfect. However, I have gotten to a place in my sobriety where I’m finding balance. I used to have a habit of pushing myself too hard and being an overachiever. I have always pushed myself to be the ‘best.’ With this program I have learned how to not overcommit myself in order to ‘prove’ something to someone (or myself) but still be ‘a part of’ and show up in service. I absolutely love AA.

Practicing the principles has given me self esteem. I actually like myself today. And that says a lot when I think back to my teen years when the voice in my head was literally screaming at me all the time, telling me how much of a garbage human being I was. It’s crazy to remember those times.

The other thing that stuck out for me when reading Step 12 in the 12&12 were these lines:

“When a [person] has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered.”

That last bit was me. Life was something to endure or master. I’m now finally learning how to be in it – how to enjoy it immensely.

Super grateful. The meeting is open 🙂

Sarah M.

Dec 1, 2019