Remembering Why We’re Here
In this neck of the woods our face to face meetings usually begin with the words, *Shall we have a few moments silence to remember why we’re here, and to remember the still suffering alcoholic*.
I wonder if this week we can *remember why we’re here* and think about why we came to our first meeting.
When I’m asked, I usually say it was because I drank far too much, far too often for far too long. I keep it short because I’d rather talk about my recovery but sometimes I need to remember in detail why I’m here. Here are a few of the reasons.
I came to my first meeting a crumpled, drunken mess with little brain power available to think clearly. I came because I was frightened when a friend picked me up after I had slid down a pillar at a Christmas midnight mass. (This memory stuck!) I came because I could no longer control my alcohol intake. I no longer knew whether one drink would just lead me slowly into oblivion or whether one drink would make me unconscious. I was terrified I would lose my job, comments had been made. I had been homeless for a short while and was so scared that if I lost my job I couldn’t pay for my accommodation.
I was tired of waking up, or coming round, thinking, *Did I really do that?* or, *Did I phone that person or not – and if i did, what did I say?*. I was fed up with responding to the people I’d rung without knowing it and having to create my version of events around what they were saying to me.
I’d been in relationships which had hurt me and other people and which usually ended in disaster. I had attempted suicide several times and woken to the awful realization that I hadn’t succeeded and that life would have to go on. Unsurprisingly, I had lost most of my friends.
Alcohol, which had promised me so much had led me to this point.
I like to concentrate on recovery in meetings but I also need to *remember why I’m here* because if I don’t, I might end up back where I was, and much worse. Every newcomer who talks about why they’ve got to their first meeting helps me to remember my pain, helps me to remember why I’m here.
Please share with us what you would think of in those few moments at the beginning of a meeting where you are asked to remember why you’re here. Those of you who are new to sobriety let us know what brought you here.
To end on a positive note, despite the state I was in, the decision to get to that first meeting was the best decision of my life. Beyond that despair was a new life, new purpose, new peace and so much more.
As in all our meetings, please feel that you can share on this or on anything else relating to getting sober and staying sober. I feel that every time I share I think I grow a bit and our shares certainly strengthen our Group so I look forward to listening to your experience, strength and hope.