Fear of Change
In the Serenity Prayer we ask for “courage to change the things we can” and everyone reading this has had the courage to admit that they can’t go on drinking. Most of us have been able to admit that we are alcoholics and have surrendered to change in a big way. Sometimes we decide to change something, other times change can just happen in our lives and we have no control over it.
We could all write a book about changes like this, bereavement, changes in relationships, changes in financial situations and so on. One particular area of fear for me is to do with health, what I’m able to do (or not do!) because of illness and disability. When my energy levels are really low I’m afraid they’ll get lower. When walking is particularly difficult I’m afraid of the next stage. Changes in pain levels make me afraid that the pain will get even worse…..and so on. Less understandable is an extreme reaction to unexpected hospitalizations (there have been a few!) Anyone would think I’m being sent to Outer Siberia 🙂
If I’m not vigilant, fear of change in any area of my life can cripple me and stop me from being able to live in the day. HOW (standing for honesty, open-mindedness and willingness) do I deal with it? Probably, when the fear shows itself, with a moment of panic 🙂 I’ve learned through the program and through listening to the experience of folks in AA to shorten that moment as much as I can before it screws up my brain, so I talk about it as honestly as I can with another alcoholic. Then I have to live through the feelings that could overwhelm me. With the help of my Higher Power, AA meetings and usually more and more talking, I survive. Then comes the need to wash the kitchen floor (I wish my sponsor had thought of something nicer!) or to do other things that can occupy me while the initial feelings of fear subside.
I was a bit afraid I wouldn’t get this share posted in time because I’ve got an infection and am feeling a bit rough. An AA friend of mine said, “Talk about it!”. Simple really, in this case, fear gone
When I drank I lived in fear. The biggest fear was to do with the changes I’d have to make if I stopped drinking. So, whether you’re trying to stop drinking, have stopped for a day or quite a few days, please share about what changes make you afraid today and let us know how you stop that fear from growing.