The Ninth Promise
“Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us”. Searching around in my mind for a topic, this is what settled with me. All the Promises have materialized in my life except … economic security. I constantly feel I am either doing or not doing something ‘right’ here. I’ve been sober a long time, yes, and I don’t mean that I am afraid of losing what I have in terms of financial security. Rather, I mean that I never truly have enough!
Now, this has something to do with me being a single mother for many years, and us surviving on one income. Bringing up a son and attempting to give him the best I can costs not just in emotional terms but in financial terms. And I also think it has to do with my being an underachiever, which is still there to a degree with me. I’m getting older (a youthful 61, I like to think!) but I have so much still in me in terms of unmined talent, I feel, if I am being honest. I would like to put any gifts I have to good use before I expire lol.
Money – materialism- has never been to the fore of my mind. When I walked away from my marriage in 1981, the year before I got sober, I walked away from a beautiful six-bedroomed home, and financial security (my guilt at the time stopped me from pursuing what would have been rightfully mine as half of that partnership, but that’s water under the bridge now). If I had stayed in that marriage, I would never have gotten sober, I do believe.
And sobriety has brought me undreamed-of rewards in terms of a wonderful peace of mind, healed relationships, self-knowledge, ability to go out to others, an education to post-grad level, the chance to be a mother again, but not the job that might have come with it, bringing increasing financial security.
I’m asking God as I understand Him, lately more than ever, for guidance and awakening in this area. I lost my job of twelve years recently and am about to attend my second interview about going self employed e.g. private tuition, proofreading, community association classes. I’m not naturally a business-headed woman so I’m a little apprehensive about this!
What are your experiences around financial insecurity/security? Are you an overachiever or an underachiever? Do you feel there is potential within you that has still not been realized (I guess this relates to last week’s topic here- the woman I would like to be).
We’re all different- and that’s good! My strengths might not be yours, and your might not be mine. So, I invite you to share on your strengths and weaknesses in this area 🙂 I remain teachable, thank heavens, and I have much to learn.