Hey there friends. Karrie here, alcoholic. This week, I would like to talk about “taking action”. Most of my life I have evaded problems or ran away from them. I lived in fear and was paralyzed by those fears. I drank to self medicate. My counselor tells me that drinking only pushed the pause button on my/life’s issues. Typically, the pain of the issue has to get severe before I become willing to make a change. That has been true in a recent family situation. My sponsor says the universe gives us opportunity after opportunity to address issues and each time it gets a little harder.
When I first got sober, I thought that not drinking was good enough. After all, I drank because I had a terrible life and had been wronged and you would drink too if you had my life. Haha. But it’s been the process of living day by day and working the steps that has helped me start seeing my self and that I do need to take action.
I have been thinking a lot about this section in the big book–chapter “into action”
“The alcoholic is like a tornado roaring his way through the lives of others. Hearts are broken. Sweet relationships are dead. Affections have been uprooted. Selfish and inconsiderate habits have kept the home in turmoil. We feel a man is unthinking when he says that sobriety is enough. He is like the farmer who came up out of his cyclone cellar to find his home ruined. To his wife, he remarked, “Don’t see anything the matter here, Ma. Ain’t it grand the wind stopped blowin’?” Yes, there is a long period of reconstruction ahead. We must take the lead.”
I can identify with this farmer. I have often pretended the cyclone hasn’t ruined anything. Denial! I certainly don’t care for the idea that there is a long period of reconstruction ahead OR for the idea that I have to take the lead. BUT at this point I am acknowledging the problems in my family, I am addressing them with my husband and I am taking the lead to get counseling for my son and I. I have played the victim/martyr role my whole life. I am tired of it. Finally, I am ready to pull up my big girl panties and get to it.
The meeting is now open for discussion.