October 16: Acceptance, getting what we need vs getting what we want

Topic for the week:

I have been thinking a lot about this quote on acceptance that can be found in Alcoholics Anonymous (commonly referred to as the Big Book), pg 417 of the Fourth Edition:

“When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.”

There have been many situations I have been struggling with the last few years, particularly a sense of a lack of control over my own time. It feels like there’s not enough time to do all that’s on my plate. At the same time, I’m struggling with the sound of the clock ticking, because I am aging and so are many of the people I am closest to.

As is described in the Big Book (p 60), as alcoholics we want to be in charge, arranging the lights as we see fit, even dictating what others say and how they act.

It’s a grand illusion though. I am not in charge. And that’s probably a good thing.

Early in sobriety, I learned a powerful lesson and that’s that even though I don’t always get what I want in recovery, I always, always get what I need.

Another important lesson I was taught is that alcoholics have only one problem and that is the disease of alcoholism; everything else is just situations.

Alcoholism is a cunning, powerful and baffling illness that wants all of us dead. Eternal vigilance is the price we pay for sobriety.

It’s important whenever I’m feeling disturbed that I ask myself, “Are you getting what you need today?” I have found that the answer is always yes.

I also remind myself that when I’m not getting what I want, a power greater than myself has a better idea.

Accepting that everything is playing out exactly the way it’s supposed to, even if it doesn’t make sense at this time, is an important key to sobriety and serenity.

This week I invite you to share on acceptance, getting what we need versus getting what we want or any other topic you feel moved to share about.

Together we can do what none of us can do alone.

Thank you all for being part of this group and for letting me lead this week.

Hugs to all who need or want one.
Valerie D
DOS 2/8/88