Decisions in Sobriety
When I was drinking and well into my early sobriety I was terrible with making decisions. I would generally either make impulsive decisions that would turn out to be disasters (i.e marriages, relationships, geographics, spending impulsively, quitting jobs I really needed) or I would be so indecisive to where I could not make a decision. I had neither wisdom, God, or sobriety to help me. I was running on self-will run riot. I did not pause or take time to think.
Our Big Book says to pause when agitated. (Page 87, concerning morning meditation).
I was a very immature 47 year old when I got sober and kids/immature people do not make the best decisions.
What changed? The program and steps of course.
I ask God for help with my life and for his will for my life. I have more confidence in myself and think I am a capable person now. Sometimes my decision is just to do the next right thing.
I try to have lots of gratitude for basic things like my home, my job, food. I try to “play the tape all the way through” so I can see future consequences of a possible bad decision. I try to think of others instead of just myself, tall order for this selfish alcoholic. I pray for extra help through the bad situations. I use “restraint of pen and tongue.”I don’t always have to chime in or say something. Life is still progress and not perfection but I feel like a lady now as opposed to the drunk I used to be.
I just love page 86-87 “On awakening…”in the Big Book which tells us how to handle our daily decisions with God. It even says God gave us brains to use.
Thanks so much for letting me share.