Step 2: “Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
My experience with Step 2 was a mixed bag. I was happy to learn that I might someday be more like “Earth people,” but I didn’t think my Higher Power wanted to be involved. Looking at it now, I see that when I was on Step 2, I thought my HP was powerless. That’s not exactly correct, though. I’d spent decades deciding what my Higher Power was. I’d concluded that God created me, gave me free will, and expected me (all of us, really) to take it from there. In my mind, God wasn’t powerless. He just had better things to do. And he expected me to do my part.
I talk about an “old man” in my Virginia meetings who really helped me with this dilemma. He pointed out that God would restore me to sanity where alcohol was concerned. He wouldn’t speak to my non-alcohol-related insanity, of which there was plenty. Mike’s explanation made it easier on me. I didn’t have to cure myself, an assignment I didn’t feel very confident about. I could do the Step and let my Higher Power take care of the alcohol part.
As for my insanity in general, that was going to be a much bigger project. My mother couldn’t cope with my emotional nature, so she explained to me and many others that I was insane. I was a child, and I believed her. So, I carried that baggage with me until after I’d returned to AA at 49 years old. By the time my alcohol insanity was solved, I wasn’t buying mom’s old story any more. I mean, everyone in AA was insane in their own way. I was just one nut in that big basket. I’d figured my mother out by then, too, so I was finally okay with me.
One thing I’m particularly grateful for is that Step 2 begins with the words, “Came to believe…” It told me I didn’t have to become sane immediately and that I would have some very powerful help. I could take my time. I could let time take time. Recovery isn’t a race or an endurance test. It’s a process, and Step 2 is an important part of that process for me.
I hope you’ll share with us your thoughts on Step 2. Where are you with coming to believe? And how has Step 2 contributed to your recovery?