Appreciating Where We’ve Come From
Appreciate: be fully aware of; hold dear; recognize with gratitude This topic is on my mind because for Valentine’s Day my husband got me a membership to Ancestry.com. This was very important to me because for my WHOLE life I’ve known NOTHING about my father’s side of the family. The whole Martin family refused to talk about our history or simply tell any of us what country we emigrated from! This always made me furious and it was much worse because my father, who might have told me things, died in a car crash 7 months before my birth.
So, after working for several weeks on Ancestry.com I have traced the Martin side all the way back to the 1100s in Scotland and England!!!! While I did find 1 ancestor had 1 male slave inherited from his father and that one ancestor fought WITH the British against America, I can see NO reason to hide anything from me. Needless to say I’ve been very emotional for these last few weeks. Knowing where my family came from is very important to me. Just as important as appreciating the fact that I am, and have been for almost 6 years, sober after 15 years of active alcoholism.
I now fully appreciate the gravity of my prior behavior and the road I was on. I feel the appreciation to my bones that I am no longer “that person” nor am I doing “those things” which were destroying me and my life. Each day I breathe another breath and each day that I wake up I can increasingly appreciate the struggles, traumas, and lessons which brought me to today. I appreciate the difference between a life as an alcoholic lost in the bottle and misery versus the life of a sober alcoholic smelling the roses with each step. And above all I appreciate those who’ve gone before me that learned the Program which saved my life.
Do you appreciate fully and massively what you came from in alcoholism? Tell us what this has brought up in your heart and mind.