Topic for the week: “Let it Be”
I want to begin by thanking all of you for reaching out to me with messages of love and care this month. Every one of your thoughts helped me in healing my broken heart after my sister passed on Sept 6. As members of AA, we support each other in good times by celebrating our daily recovery. When there is a crisis, we are here for each other. What a blessing we are for each other! Thank you GROW sisters.
I travelled from Nicaragua to Oregon as quickly as I could to be with her and made it in time before she passed on. God allowed me five hours and the opportunity to hold her hand and listen to a favorite song “Let it Be” by the Beatles as she took her last breath. My sister’s body no longer exists on this earth. I don’t know where her spirit is. But that is OK! I can “let it be!”
Today, because I only have today, I am free from fear and doubt and selfish thinking. I don’t need to worry about my sister, obsess about her or even try to understand death. I can “let it be!” Because I have a spiritual connection with God, a sponsor for guidance in using the plan for living offered freely in the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions and a community of women who understand my pain, I am sober and feel peace even during this very sad time.
Before I came to AA, I would have used alcohol to numb my feelings, pretend I was OK and hide my fears. My doubts about the existence of a loving God would block me from any spiritual growth or maturity. I would have been angry at the God I knew then for taking my sister. I would have tried to blame doctors, situations, family, anybody for her death. I would not know how to accept life on God’s terms. I would use her death as an excuse to drink and not face reality. I would not have a clue about how to “let it be.”
Thank God I have been transformed into a new person. The promises from every step have come true for me because as the BB states I have been “painstaking” and have worked for them. I am amazed and grateful that my HP/God has given me the grace to be here to love and serve others. I accept reality and put my life, my sister’s life, my family, friends and your life in the hands of God. Today, I can “let it be!”
Your recent shares on the promises for a new freedom and a new happiness as well as maturing in sobriety and gratitude have inspired me to continue the path toward becoming the woman God made me to be. How do you “let it be”? How do you accept or deal with a crisis such as death or any other situation that breaks your heart? Of course you may also share anything in your heart. Thank you for allowing me to lead this week. Looking forward to reading how you “let it be”.