August 15: Do I want to be right, or happy? How important is it really?

Topic for the week: Do I want to be right, or happy? How important is it really?

“Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations of Max and other people are, the lower is my serenity. I can watch my serenity level rise when I discard my expectations. But then my “rights” try to move in, and they too can force my serenity level down. I have to discard my “rights,” as well as my expectations, by asking myself, How important is it, really? How important is it compared to my serenity, my emotional sobriety? And when I place more value on my serenity and sobriety than on anything else, I can maintain them at a higher level—at least for the time being.” (p.420, Alcoholics Anonymous, 4th Ed.)

Thank you everyone who took the time to message me for my anniversary. Yes, I turned 13 on Friday the 13th! My HP loves the irony :). I am now fully hitting teen recovery and blossoming complete with mood swings, strops, dark lipstick, and a whole new level of adulting.

Like any human, I fall into the expectations trap and for the past 3 weeks I found myself dealing with a unfair unexpected customs fee of 22 euros for an item. That’s right, 22 euros (26 USD). It escalated into over 15 emails, several calls and two companies involved (the platform and the vendor). At some point, I had an out-of-body experience and realised, this is insane! And that’s when a friend said, erm, “How important is it, really?” and then the clincher, “do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?” I wanted it all, because then I would be ok. God forbid I might not win this one?!

I need to remember that my serenity is the price I pay for emotional booby-traps and when serenity goes, it starts chipping away and at some point, I lose sanity too. I am grateful I get the help I need not to be down-sized, but right-sized!

Thanks for letting me lead this week.