What Brought You to Your Bottom?
I apologize for not getting the topic out on time, but here it is: When I moved to Florida, I was asked: “Why did you pick December 23rd to get sober?” An Alanon asked me that question, it was all I could do but start laughing! The date had not relevance, but that’s where I hit my bottom.
My 38th anniversary has gone by, I have been far too busy to even stop (pause) for my brain to notify me. I am so grateful for all the sponsors, all the AAers who helped me in this journey.
When I came in finally sober, my brain I felt was hopelessly burnt. I could remember little except you don’t drink a day at a time. I had to take it 15 minutes at a time. My “crutches” – alcohol and drugs, were no longer good medicine for me.
I had a General Practitioner Doctor help me get cleaned up. If I needed hospitalization, it was to be without any mind altering drugs. I had many a sleepless night, and when up I swore the trees were moving around. In a daze I destroyed anything in the bathroom. I was on crutches in the snow and ice, trying to buy pants for the son I hadn’t given over to my ex. I was fearful terrified of driving because I had a bumper banger (no one in the car thank God) at which point I was arrested for bad checks I never remember writing.
I finally asked a woman to sponsor me, she had 18 years and had 12 stepped me with both alcohol and drugs. She was tough. She also unbeknown to me in the beginning was going blind. When I finally got driving again, she pushed me to drive to meetings further and further away, and thank God for her tricking me that way.
I was unemployable, and at about 3 months sober, the CETA program offered me retraining as a Nurses aid. I went, I grew, I became social a little at a time. When we were trained in death and dying, I let it all out and shared my story. The nurse instructing us already knew my story; she said she had been watching me grow. No detoxes, just winging it with help from AA and my Doctor. Little by little I tried to clear the wreckage of my past. Went to two more courts for checks, was let go free with payback.
In these 38 years, my life has been a full 180 degree turn or better. I hung onto my youngest son; I married at five years sober. (Kissed a lot of AA toads in there) I learned I had to like me, before I could like or love another. I had been rear-ended prior to that marriage, dealing with Workers comp, denials, courts for that, we struggled financially, but Bill worked a second job to keep us afloat. All thru the almost 32 years we were married, we had financial devastation on and off.
I pictured me in God’s hands; I knew he held me up when I thought I might fall! I am still in God’s hands. Three months after Bills death, the finances turned around, I can make it know. The Grace of God and AA! I could go on and on with the miracles that have happened to me.
My oldest son (that I had kept) called me not too long ago, he was helping a friend on parenting, and she said Your Mom did a great job, she trained you well. She was jealous because she is having child-rearing problems. My son kept going on about that, I reminded him had it not been for God and AA, we would not have made it.
If you wish my topic is: what brought you to your bottom? Or any other topic that is on your mind. I am here still a student, I am grateful for all who share.
Happy Holidays. Merry Christmas to all!