This week’s topic is step 2:
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”
This is a special time for me, today is my 10th sobriety anniversary! I am proud of myself for making it to this milestone. I’ve taken the journey with many of you as I joined GROW shortly after I became sober. So grateful to be here and be of service to GROW. On to my share…
To repair my broken life, the definition of which varied depending on the decade, I spent years reading self help books and attending therapy sessions starting at age 14. These tools often helped temporarily, but I always found myself returning into a cycle of the same character defects over and over again. It went something like this: emotional pain of some kind hits me (that’s a whole other topic!), I reached for the nearest ‘fix’ (food, alcohol, drugs, men) until I became distracted enough that the original pain dissipated or went away entirely. From the outside looking in I appeared functional, but by the time I turned 55 years old I had become a slave to the fix of the day, which was primarily alcohol. And for this girl, the ‘side effects’ of alcohol addiction are not pretty! I knew that I needed more than books and therapy if I was ever going to be free.
Enter the 12 step program of AA. As I listened to everyone sharing in the first couple of months of meetings, I observed how faith in a higher power was the key for so many people to maintain sobriety. This was the first true venture into the world of faith for me, and I didn’t know how to tap into this ‘higher power’. But I had enough trust in these (mostly) happy people sitting in the rooms to keep an open mind and heart. I decided if they can live a sober life after a lifetime of drinking, if they can ‘come to believe’, well so can I.
For me, faith in God was the right solution. I sensed it was the ONLY path towards letting go of my controlling nature. Nothing else had worked in the long term. As a matter of fact, it wasn’t until I began reading the A.A. literature and listening at meetings that I realized my need to control was one of my most challenging defects.
Step 2 always gives me hope to break free from my destructive patterns of behavior. It gives me hope for improved relationships with my spouse, family, friends, and life in general. This amazing step is also simpler than anything else I have tried to feel sane and serene. When I’m greatly troubled, I can have a conversation with God and give Him my woes, He is there for me.
Even when life doesn’t seem to be going ‘my way’, I know that I can turn to God instead of alcohol. This is believing in a power greater than myself that can restore me to sanity.
Please share with us about your step 2 experience, strength and hope.