Aug 23: Bringing the Message Home

I chose this topic from the Daily Reflections forAugust 23.

Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pp. 111-12

My family members suffer from the effects of my disease. Loving and accepting them as they are- just as I love and accept A.A. members– fosters a return of love, tolerance and harmony to my life. Using common courtesy and respecting others’ personal boundaries are necessary practices for all areas of my life.

Throughout my drinking career I thought everything was about me, me, me, me. If it wasn’t about me then I did not really care. I had to be in control of every situation and if I wasn’t then I was done with you. I would sabotage relationships that I was in if things did not go my way. Sometimes this would lead to abuse, but at the time I did not care because it would give me an excuse to drink and I would easily forgive myself. I sabotaged my relationship with family and friends. I liked things done my way regardless if I was wrong or right.

When I first started to get sober I went the complete opposite direction and I let people walk all over me. I didn’t know how to say no or to set boundaries. My first sponsor was very thorough with me and helped and guided me in my self will. She helped me to learn how to set boundaries without compromising myself. I learned how to tell people no so I would not feel guilty about it. I did not like to tell people no, but I felt if I said no then people would not like me. I now know that I am not always right that there are other ways of doing things. I am more tolerant of people, family and most importantly myself. Self love has played a big role in my sobriety.