Sunday the 9th I’m celebrating thirteen years of sobriety. I can hardly believe it! Thirteen years of living with a Program and following the suggestions, with the aid of my higher power, instead of surviving from crisis to crisis.
I may surrender my will and my life to HP on a daily basis, but as Bill reminds us in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, “…there are certain things which only the individual can do. All by himself, and in the light of his own circumstances, he needs to develop the quality of willingness. When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can decide to exert himself.” (12 x 12, p. 40)
A few months ago, someone shared that when she takes one small action towards addressing a character defect, she’s showing God she’s ready to let it all go.
I really loved that.
As a newcomer I had no idea how HP was going to remove my pride, my dishonesty, my need to people please, but I wanted to be fixed. Now. What did I need to do to speed this process along, I wondered? How could I make HP act on my behalf ASAP?
I had no idea that I was already doing what was required.
Willingness to give up drinking was followed by a willingness to go to meetings, share, make amends. In other words, my willingness to experience discomfort got me through early sobriety. Today, that same willingness to trust HP and walk into uncertainty is where my greatest growth comes.
Taking action that challenges my habitual behavior let’s HP know that I’m ready for even greater change.
Recently, I harnessed my willingness to address my fear by attending a gathering where I knew nobody but the celebrant. I challenged my low self esteem by accepting a generous gift from a friend. Through willingness, I show myself, HP, and others that I’m changing.
How has your relationship to willingness grown with your sobriety? How do you apply the concept of willingness in your Program? How are you challenging yourself to grow in your day to day interactions with people, places, and things?