Here we are in the 12th month, to start the 12th step. Not long ago, I would not have been confident to chair this topic, but after the last few months of changes, I’m ready!
I’ve worked long & had to get back to my HP, after firing it and AA all together over a decade ago. Now, once again, I’ve had a spiritual experience & am comfortable with prayer. Sometimes I can just talk & get out whatever it is that needs saying. But it’s been a slow process, and I’d say ‘Don’t rush it’ if you’re not there yet. I believe that a genuine depth is worth the wait. In between, however, I used the forces of Nature and the rules of science to keep me from going nuts. Please share a little about your process of finding a HP you can live with, especially if you chose a non-traditional path for it to feel right.
As far as carrying the message to others, this is where I do it. Living in a Costa Rican small town, there aren’t many F2F options. Instead, I participate actively in 3 email women’s groups, sharing my ESH, sometimes having private conversations, reaching out to those who struggle, and sponsoring when asked. I’d love to hear what other women are doing in this ‘time of Covid’ to help those who may want what we have.
Lastly, the really hard part – practicing these principles in all our affairs. Oh dear…
It’s easy for me to be kind to strangers & practice empathy. I do my best to be polite & considerate of the general public. As many are out of work, I also go out of my way to employ the hordes of casual laborers, even feeding families for months. I can pat myself on the back for these things.
BUT!!!
In the home is where I really struggle. I get snappy with my partner pretty easily after 9 months of restricted movement. I’m moody – but then, I’ve often been moody. Not much progress there. Self-pity sometimes comes up, but I can use gratitude. I can also look at all those around me with serious problems of health or getting food on the table or not being evicted.
I still pray for my character defects to be removed DAILY, but at the same time I make more effort to catch myself when I’m being an ass. It gets very humbling when I see the same behavior over & over.
I’m SO grateful that AA teaches us it’s progress, not perfection, and that none of us will ever be perfect! When I remember this, I’m less likely to beat myself uup for so long over some human failing.
Please share on any of this that you relate to! Thanks for letting me serve by sharing my ESH.
Deb