Topic for the week:
Serenity through the chaos.
The holidays have taken a toll on me. I have my daily routine that helps keep me close to my God and serene. But when you throw in the holdays, its more difficult to stay in that routine. Add the emotions of everyone that I am around (family mostly) this past week, and I find myself struggling today to stay on my side of the street, to not react or try and fix other people’s emotions or chaos, and stay close to my God.
Before AA, chaos consumed my life. I did not know how much chaos was apart of my life and that I used it to justify my drinking, my behavior and my victimhood. I drank to avoid life because I thought it was too much to handle. I thought the drinking would help me avoid the issues. But through the program, my former sponsor and the ladies in AA, I know that the drinking only made the chaos worse. By working the steps, I know that life is hard sometimes, and I dont have to take that personally. I dont have to run, avoid or create drama to get threw the moment. I can breathe and the moment will pass.
Last week, when I felt the pull of chaos from my serenity, I knew that I needed to up my AA connection. I slowed down and took time for myself. I reached out to another lady, but I still feel a bit off. I ok, but not as serene as I like to be. I am glad that I asked to chair this week’s meeting. My HP knew I would need it, before I did. Taking this time to compose this share has helped me see that I am in self will. I am not talking to my God and I am in fear. This program works when I work it. I have tools that are available to me at any time day or night IF I choose to use them. What a wonderful life I have.
I would love to hear how you get back on track to serenity or how you stay serene through the chaos of life. Or anything that is on your mind.