February 6: Step Two

Topic for the week: Step 2

We are all invited to share on Step 2. The steps are our blueprint for living sober lives.

*** Step 2 ***
“Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

My share is this – Step 2 was really hard for me. I’m agnostic and still don’t believe in a personal god who looks over me. Fortunately, I have had good sponsors and have known many other agnostics and some atheists in AA. I learned I was free to develop any concept of a power greater than myself, and it has evolved many times since I first joined AA in 1981. The example of electricity being a greater power helped me get started. I knew a guy who used door knobs – can’t get through that door without a doorknob, right?? I used AA as my greater power, and also the people of AA as a group. I used many forces of nature – wind, sun, tides. The longer I searched, the easier it became to see that almost anything was a power greater than myself. Fuel sources, vehicles of transport, the laws of the universe and physics were all greater than me. Eventually, I relaxed about religion and was willing to admit that it helped people cope with life, and has since the dawn of time. I even studied many religions and joined a religious body for a few years, though it wasn’t a good fit for me. 

My sanity was returning. I calmed down. I didn’t have to have an absolute answer, I just had to admit that I wasn’t a higher power, and have faith in all those things that were. My ego got smaller. My humility and acceptance of things I can’t change grew, and continues to grow. I can now accept the mystery of it all. With that, my inner capacity for intuitive thought grew. I had powerful ideas and solutions come to me in flashes that furthered my growth. They seemed to simply appear, and I stopped trying to explain them. Yes, I pray in my own way, to the universe rather than a deity. I pray for wisdom, understanding, another day of sobriety, opportunities to serve others and our planet. I’ve stopped fighting and just accept the mystery. One day at a time, I have been restored to sanity. And usually I can stay there, LOL!